Manager of Late-Nite Pie Most Likely Late to Life I say that because if the arson investigation currently implementing him as the key suspect goes through, he’ll be spending some time in jail. Jail is ambition’s sedative. Whatever he had plans for, he’d better postpone or cancel. Visit KHOU for more.
Bring Out Your Meds, Bring Out Your Meds Doctors and assistants were arrested and led away in DEA handcuffs after a raid on a medical center in the Woodlands. If there’s one thing that Woodlanders do not tolerate, it’s drug pushers in their hood. Citizens of the community are justifiably upset. May I suggest they pop a Xanax or two and lie down? Visit TheChron for more.
The New University of Houston Logo is Flawed (Spoiler: The H’s Serifs are Different) Someone’s in trouble. The new mark is sure to be producing the kind of “oh f#^k!” moment every designer, art director, writer, creative director and project manager dreads—the blatant error seen only too late—after the press run and unveiling. Hopefully its production on marketing collateral and apparel hasn’t gone too far. Then again, maybe it was intentional.
And to the folks up in arms over the negative space between the two letters; that’s not a mistake. The entire logo is outlined in white, so it’s only reasonable that the white carries over into that space as well. Sure realistically a pixel or two of red might appear if true to the outline, but then you’re left with an ill-considered red dot. It’s better off omitted. Visit UniWatch for more.
A Repo Man Spends His Life Getting Into Tense Situations! Everybody knows that. Or at least everybody who was raised with an appreciation of terrible 80’s flicks. But a Montgomery County Sherriff gave one repo worker a bit more than the standard “don’t touch my car” grief. Guns were drawn, badges were flashed. But the car was returned, so happy ending for all? We’ll see what the DA has to say eventually. Visit Click2Houston for more.
Expressway Armageddon 3 AM cruises around the 610 loop are a bit safer since the gaping pot hole near Ella was repaired yesterday. TxDOT claims they are still unsure what caused the road damage to begin with, but by the look of it, I think we have to assume it was a meteor strike worthy of a Michael Bay movie. Visit Click2Houston for more.
Firing Shots Outside Spaghetti Warehouse—Not Gonna Happen, Man. You’re Ridin’ on a Buffalo. Remember?
The 24-year old intoxicated fella wasn’t the guy on a buffalo. Who’s to say he wasn’t in that mindset. I’ll admit, I’ve had my faculties stormed by the mountain-man, buffalo-riding, Kentucky long-rifle wielding confidence that comes as a result of too much Bailey’s. I’d grab the nearest push-broom in hopes that its faster top speed would help me save orphans. Put yourself in Adam’s place. Physical and legal limitations go right out the window. Visit ABC13 for more.
Easter International: Vietnamese, Spanish, Korean, English and Spanich This past weekend’s multicultural camaraderie is certainly something to be excited about. It serves as a shred of evidence that we can all in fact, get along- even if it only concerns one religion. It’s a start. Visit ABC13 for more.
An Increase in Bad News - Brought to You by the Man in Black
A 27-year-old individual beats his two-year-old son for pulling off window tint. Missing mother of four is abused and murdered by the criminal she was wed to. Party-goers are shot at Surfside. Individual chokes and burns wife. Visit any news outlet for more.
Houston Welcomes Home Iraq War Vets If you were in Downtown on Saturday you might’ve noticed a parade moving southeast along Texas Avenue toward Minute Maid Park. That was the city of Houston welcoming back our nation’s Iraq War veterans. Apparently Houston is only the second “large” city to do so. Politics aside, they’ve sacrificed a lot. Thank you. Visit ABC13 for more.
Montgomery County’s Largest Egg Drop!
Call me old-fashioned, but I didn’t realize there was such a thing as an egg drop, let alone enough to conjure comparisons. Well, they exist. This one dropped thousands. I should very much hope they weren’t eggs of the golden variety. That might be cause for concern. Visit ABC13 for more.
Brown Manganese and Iron Infused Tap Water Citizens in Danbury are complaining about the their water supply; its characteristics are listed above. The Texas Commission on Environmental Quality and the City of Danbury issued the following message, “SUCK IT UP!” Visit ABC13 for more.
Elementary School Curriculum: Gators 101
Seasoned alligator catcher, Texas Department of Parks & Wildlife game warden Barry Eversole nonchalantly quips that “It’s not rare to see gators this time of year. It gets blown way out of proportion.” It’s breeding season. Keep this in mind though, “Oh yeah, they’ll take your arm off,” he said. Visit TheChron for more.
City Boy Can Survive
The old adage about rural folk having the leg-up in survival situations seems to be incorrect as many city slickers are just as prone to gun ownership, shelter building and food storage. Fear knows no demographic. Just ask the people at Top Brass Military & Tactical. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.
12 Hurt On Their Way From Tampa to Houston
On Tuesday, United flight 1727 was en route from Tampa to Houston. Along the way it struck a rift in the space-time continuum causing an incredible amount of turbulence, over what the pilots think was Lake Charles, Louisiana. That’s the second time we’ve mentioned space-time today for anyone that’s counting. Visit TheChron for more.
Our Uppity Neighbors to the North are Still Our Neighbors
If you haven’t heard about the hail and tornadoes that ravaged parts of the DFW area yesterday, I would suggest pulling your head out of your nether regions. They require assistance. Here’s a few ways to help if you feel inclined to do so. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.
Clayton Angel, Have Some Chocolate After yesterday’s news of JetBlue Airways Corp. Capt. Clayton Osbon’s isle rant on the way to Vegas, there’s a lot of confusion. Loyal to his employees, David Barger, president and chief executive officer has issued statements backing up the character of Captain Clayton. “He’s the sweetest little boy, everyone’s just going to love him.” Visit KHOU for more.
Bats in the Church Belfry Infamous Andrea Yates is seeking permission to leave her long-held post at the psychiatric hospital for a couple hours per week, so she may attend services at a local church. Fine. Just keep her away from that baptistery. Visit TheChron for more.
My Ink? It’s the Japanese Symbol for ‘Regret.’ In a fiercely competitive job market, people rocking body art are finding themselves at a disadvantage. That Scooby-Doo tatt on your forearm maybe wasn’t the greatest idea, after all. Fortunately, there are medical procedures to rectify just about everything these days, including impulsive decisions made in the throes of youth. Visit Click2Houston for more.
Farmer to Thieves, “I’ll BEE Watching You.” There’s a reason all dogs go to heaven; they’re good natured. Vicious behavior is taught. Bees are a different story, their mean spirited stings are instinctive and territorial. Local farmer, Gus Nawara is retiring his canines and bringing that fury to his organic fields as a means of defense. Hear that buzzing? That ain’t no alarm you’ve triggered. Visit KHOU for more.
You Say It’s Your Birthday A local mom was ripped off by scam artists posing as party planners. Buck up, mom. Everyone knows that no matter how disastrous a birthday begins, Jake Ryan will always pop up in the final frames with a cake and a kiss for the ages. But then, maybe that’s not what you had in mind for your nine year old. Visit ABC13 for more.
I’ll Have a Screwdriver – And Make it Bloody
Guess what you get for trying to partake of Houston’s less-than-stellar public transport system: screwed. Literally. Stabbed and screwed. And Metro wonders why ridership is down… Visit Chron.com for more.
Sexual Deviant Seeks Partner for Snuggling, Occasional Sadism
People looking for love in all online places can rest a bit easier. Big name matchmaking websites like Match.com intend to start screening members for registered sex offenses. Am I the only one naïve enough to have assumed they were doing this all along? “Interests: whips, chain, candle wax, rape porn.” Might wanna red flag that one, eHarmoney. Visit Click2Houston for more.
Hey Kids, Want to Play with Mr. Bunny?
Okay, so that sounds pervy. But that’s what happens when public festivals aren’t allowed to invoke the term “Easter” bunny. These events may be meticulously organized and teeming with local business sales pitches, but without a Cadbury endorsement, the main attraction is just another person in a giant rabbit outfit. Visit YourHoustonNews for more.
I Mosquito (Ant, Termite, Flea, and Roach) Houston
Where can we place the blame? Houston’s insect problem is ramping up early this year. The mild winter and early spring are creating an uncontrollable pest population. Makes you wish you had listened to Bob Barker. Next time you’ll have your pest spayed or neutered. This time it’s on you, Houston. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.
Cops Renting Rent-a-Cops is Like a Dream Within a Dream It’s a radical notion. Will it be an Assistant to the Regional Manager type of thing? More than likely. The Sheriff’s Office claims these new “Boots on the Ground” (objectifying?) will merely perform the duties that legitimate police officers are unable to do, while gaining none of the power that comes with the badge. Sound familiar, Dwight? Visit TheChron for more.
Tejas Chocolate Ought to be Mindful of Slugworth Scott Moore, Jr. and Michelle Holland have recently started their own Houston chocolate company. While they currently make their Cocoa concoctions on the side, they aspire to create full-time in a chocolate factory. Will they one day provide a tour in which the last remaining participant gets Tejas Chocolate? I can dream. Visit HoustonPress for more.
Houston—Nice Place to Live, but They Don’t Want to Visit That’s yesterday’s Comment of the Day from Houstonian, Colleen over at Swamp Lot. She’s right, no one should ever feel the need to apologize for Houston. You don’t see it changing itself to fit in to some ideal. It’s going to remain much as it has. You adapt. You’re better for it. Visit SwampLot for more.
Dukes of New Chapel Hill a Step Behind Boss Hogg and Smith County Uncle Jesse met his match in the Smith County Sheriff’s Office. His moonshine was confiscated. Charges are at this time uncertain. As for his niece, Daisy and two nephews, Bo and Luke, whether or not they were present at the time of the raid is not known. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.
Lake Houston Wilderness Park Offers Cushy Camping A-frame camping structures with screened windows and doors built upon a deck and cabins on trails—inconceivable. While most likely foreign, if not looked down on notions to the rugged outdoors seeker, it’s good news. Visit TheChron for more.
We suppose you could make any sport “extreme”, but lighting a baseball bat on fire can really mess with a child’s confidence when he’s at the tee. We suggest letting professionals lead the way when you’re seeking your thrills, so we’ve compiled a list of ten recreational activities found in Houston’s back yard that amp up the adrenaline. No mountains. No problem.
Lance Berkman Will Take Your Call, Bud Selig “Extortion” is the term being tossed back and forth between former Astro, Lance Berkman and Major League Baseball commissioner, Bud Selig. Berkman’s in till the 9th. Selig, make your move. Visit TheChron for more.
NEWS Alert: Expensive Items Look good to Thieves With the ongoing story of BMW rims being stolen at Hobby and more recently crooks breaking into bike shops to steal high-end bikes, is any of it really surprising? Are heists not usually based on the effort to reward ratio? Why risk stealing a quartz, when a diamond lay beside it? Visit MyFoxHouston for more.
In related news…
Cheap Jewelry May Kill You If the pricey stuff gets stolen, the less expensive stuff’ll wreak havoc on your cells. The message here is clear—don’t wear jewelry. Better yet, don’t wear anything. Don’t buy anything. Don’t anything. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.
UH Can Now Accurately Call Themselves Cougars
The University of Houston will now have a live cougar as their mascot. Don’t expect to see it mauling the competition during huddles. For supposed safety regulations, most of which I can’t fathom, the young cat will be brought to events via internet video. Visit TheChron for more.
Bush or Hobby? IAH or William P.? Five terminals or one? You’d think a decision on which to use in your traveling adventures would be as simple as whether or not your flight is domestic or cross border. Perhaps the prevailing winds are in the price point—historically Hobby’s been known as less of a coin sucker than its big brother up the Four-Five. As Stephan’s latest article proposes, there may come a day in the near future when these adages no longer have much bearing. In light of the possibilities and realities, who ya got? Or does one simply say f$%k it—I’m driving?
