Brendan Frasier Filming in Fort Bend
The upcoming Journey to the Center of the Earth 3 will be set in Fort Bend. Searching to get back to reality, crews for the movie have begun to dig a bit to… you guessed it… the center of the earth. “Believability is key,” said the director who refused to be named in conjunction to the flick. Visit Chron.com for more.
Stripper on the Run
Pocahontas has taken to the woods as police search for the accused murderer. You know what? That doesn’t sound like a terrible detail to be on if you’re an officer. Enjoy the chase, fellas. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.
Epic Underage Party Epically Busted
The good times came to an end abruptly as 300 party-goers were treated to the arrival of the Kingwood policia. The thrower of said party was arrested and charged with enabling his peers with alcohol. But we’re pleading for amnesty in this case. Look at that vest. Does it say, “I’m a misdemeanor offender”? Of course it doesn’t. Visit YourHoustonNews for more.
The Fireworks at Night Will Be Big and Bright
It’s time to get amped up for the Fourth of July. Along with the usual fireworks display over Buffalo Bayou, Houston’s bringing in Billy Currington and Sara Evans to help us celebrate. Now, if I just knew who those two were… Visit KTRH.com for more.
The Booty Shot Chronicles
The long, drawn-out process of the Roger Clemens trial continues… and continues to get more lurid. Apparently, our hero, the Cy Young winning pitcher wasn’t too good at “the booty shot” according to Brian McNamee. This is a detail I’m sure we could have all done without. Visit Click2Houston for more.
Uni-Tri Careens in Kemah A man was arrested on the Kemah Bridge on Wednesday afternoon for riding on his unicycle in the buff. Joseph Glynn Farley or Uni-Tri, in his defense, stated, “I liked the way it felt.” Kemah Police Chief Greg Rikard has this to say in reply, “Really don’t know what he meant by that, but that’s what he said.” Who can blame the guy, it’s breezy up there at the top. Visit TheChron for more.
Phil Collins: Well I REMEM*BA*. I REMEM*BAA* the Alamo (3:02)
Before Phil Collins was seeking out his own unique style of music, he was donning a coon-skin cap in the search for Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón. As a young boy he was fascinated by the epic Battle of the Alamo, so much so that he’s studied it in the decades since. At 61, he’s now written the book, The Alamo and Beyond: A Collector’s Journey.Visit KHOU for more.
SchauYateKeenBeck, Come Together! The Texans added the fourth piece to the quarterback machine with veteran, John Beck. Rumor has it he’ll click into place right away having come from the Shanahan Family Franchise out in Maryland. Time will tell. Until then, let’s hope all parts of this temperamental device stay in tip-top. Visit TheChron for more.
Galveston has Seaweed? Indeeeed! Tourists are confounded by the seaweed, darker sands and brown water. “It’s a little off-putting. Our beach experience has been the panhandle of Florida, where you have the beautiful white sand and emerald beach.” Sounds about like that time I visited Chinatown expecting egg custard and dumplings, only to be surprised when I ran into magical sorcerers and men dressed like Raiden. Lesson learned. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.
Brothers Don’t Shake Hands, Brothers Gotta Rob and Disgustingly Abuse Women Colin Smith beat and choked his girlfriend in an effort to obtain a sum of money she’d just received from a court settlement. He then called his brother, Justin, to help in the search. If there were a Tommy Boy for every Paul Barish, we’d be a lot better off. Visit ABC13 for more.
Psychomagnatheric What? The slime outbreak started in New York back in the 1980’s. After 20 years it’s showing up in Houston. Sounds about right, we’re usually a couple decades behind. The biggest concentration thus far has been found at HISD. MFAH, be mindful of the sewers. You’re next. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.
Car Kills. Speed Kills. Everything Kills. According to the American Journal of Preventative Medicine and the Houston Chronicle, long car rides are greedily eating our “active” time like Kobayashi inhales franks. Drive slow and it’s heart disease. Drive fast and you’re crushed like a pop can. Visit TheChron for more.
Man Continues the Childhood Fire Fighter Fantasy into Adult Jail Dakota Runes Short was caught by the Law Dog as he impersonated a Spring Volunteer Firefighter. Was he wearing the gear, boots and helmet? No, he merely had some flashing lights on his car dashboard. Anticlimactic, no? Visit MyFoxHouston for more.
Rice is Still in Houston Rice University Police Chief Johnny Whitehead wants everyone to know that the campus is open to one of the largest cities in the nation. That’s after a student was robbed at gunpoint in a parking lot. Clever thief. Visit KHOU for more.
Valentine’s Day Passion, It Ain’t All Love
Liberty County Sheriff’s Deputies had a 90-minute stand-off with a member of the Texas Militia on February 14th of this year. To the deputies’ credit, this disagreement ended peacefully. Law a’ the land, MAN. Visit TheChron for more.
Bending Rules Like Heartstrings Two students of the Judson Independent School District have broken dress code. They wore Homes for Our Troops t-shirts in support of their father, Army Spc. Justin Perez-Gorda. The code clearly states, that t-shirts may only have college or JISD campus spirit logos. Show your love and support in another way. Visit KHOU for more.
“Mixed Up Hodgepodge of Garbage” Are they talking about Houston? No, they’re referring to the evidence being used to indict former Astros player, Roger Clemens. Clemens’ attorney, Hardin is claiming that McNamee is only out to make a buck. We’ll see. Visit TheChron for more.
Goodwill and Its High-Minded Ideals A Goodwill drop-off center in Friendswood received a bong (read: “an unusual and illegal item”) and then had the audacity to complain about it. Beggars cannot be choosers. Visit ABC13 for more.
RG3 is Chicken Not the yellow-bellied sort. He’s literally chicken, at least the edible Subway statue version is—barbecue chicken to be exact. Why does this exist? Visit KHOU for more.
Earth Day Activism Taken Too Far
An innocent man was shot multiple times while pumping gas at a Walmart on FM 1960. While theories for the suspect’s motives are kinda flimsy at this time, authorities are not ruling out radical conservation tactics. Visit KHOU for more.
Former Rice Pitcher, Philip Humber has Perfect Game
For those not in the know, that’s no walks, no hits and no errors. Mr. Humber is only the 21st player in Major League Baseball history to achieve this anomaly. Humber’s White Sox beat the Mariners 4-0. Visit TheChron for more.
Bad Fish—No Blue Gills or Tommy Cods Bigger boat? This father and son fishing duo have been reeling sharks from a pair of kayaks for over a year. If you’re swimming off Galveston’s pocket parks and you hear the unmistakable tune of “Spanish Ladies” being sung by a nine year-old, head for shore. Visit TheChron for more.
Proof that the Evolutionary Process has Stalled
An individual, called Verna McClain, shot and killed Kala Golden, a new mother of three days at a pediatric clinic in the Woodlands. The theory this early in the investigation is that the suspect murdered Golden and stole her newborn baby instead of seeking an adoption. This is despicable. Visit KHOU for more.
Every Bit Counts And as I was prepared to brood my morning away over the tragedy above, I come across this story, Allen Girl Donates Tooth Fairy Money to Help Tornado Victims. For every wrong, there is a right. In this case the impact of the former greatly outweighs the intentions of the latter. It’s a small gesture, but even a tiny step in the right direction distances further from the vile. Visit KHOU for more.
Houston Man Wrestles Stilwell Angel to the Ground
Another passenger on another plane went goofy, this time commandeering the food and beverage cart. His short-lived reign on U.S. Airways Flight No. 500 ended when he led a charge at the flight attendant. Another passenger intervened and Stilwell was subdued. The FBI later escorted him from the plane. Visit TheChron for more.
Crashed Through the Doors of HISD with a Chicken in Hand! Parents are becoming frustrated with the alleged unethical practices being enacted by HISD as it relates to hiring less than reputable contractors when building new education sites. What do you mean less than reputable? Contractors known for low wages, undocumented pay, wage theft and exploitation of non-citizenship. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.
Houston Texans 2012 Schedule Look at that; that’s five nationally televised games. It’s also a chance to catch the home team come Thanksgiving Day. Yes sir or ma’m, this is one year you won’t be forced to root for America’s team. Looks to be a good season. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.
Law and Order: Roger Clemens Unit
After declaring a mistrial the first time around for, dare I say it, having too much evidence, Roger Clemens will be back in the courtroom in Washington DC awaiting the selection of a new jury. During the first attempt at the trial, prosecutors tried to submit evidence that had already been banned by the judge, nullifying any attempt to find a verdict. Way to go, dudes. Visit Chron.com for more.
A Sixty-Five Year Old Disaster, By the Photos
We remember so we cannot repeat. It was 65 years ago that the worst industrial disaster in America happened right in Houston’s backyard. The explosion in Texas City was captured by camera by a budding amateur photographer and it’s high time you check out some of the historic photos. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.
Dog Flu Strikes
Gulf Greyhound has finally opened it’s doors again to the wagering public after a Puppy Influenza (official medical term) outbreak affected many of the racers. Dogs: They’re just like us. Half of the population of greyhounds suffered symptoms of fever, cough and, sometimes, pneumonia. It’s just a reminder to have your pets spayed, neutered and flu shotted. Visit KHOU.com for more.
Mustangs Trotting to State
In news that would have been far more exciting ten years ago for me: The Friendswood Mustangs have punched their first ticket to the 4A State Championship in soccer. The team took down a previously undefeated Waco Midway squad in overtime this weekend and will have their semi-final match in Georgetown on Friday. If all goes well and they find the back of the net, the championship game will follow on Saturday. Visit YourHoustonNews for more.
The Most Important News… EVAH! (Episode 1 and Episode 2)
Nothing gets the blood pressure up like a good competition… amongst potential Texans cheerleaders of course. You can check out photos of the first two days of Texans cheerleader tryouts over at ABC13 (Day One and Day Two). In a move that we all hope will lead to gender equality, one male was found within the ranks of the hopeful. Here’s to you, brave journeyman. Visit ABC13 for the important photographs.
Manager of Late-Nite Pie Most Likely Late to Life I say that because if the arson investigation currently implementing him as the key suspect goes through, he’ll be spending some time in jail. Jail is ambition’s sedative. Whatever he had plans for, he’d better postpone or cancel. Visit KHOU for more.
Bring Out Your Meds, Bring Out Your Meds Doctors and assistants were arrested and led away in DEA handcuffs after a raid on a medical center in the Woodlands. If there’s one thing that Woodlanders do not tolerate, it’s drug pushers in their hood. Citizens of the community are justifiably upset. May I suggest they pop a Xanax or two and lie down? Visit TheChron for more.
The New University of Houston Logo is Flawed (Spoiler: The H’s Serifs are Different) Someone’s in trouble. The new mark is sure to be producing the kind of “oh f#^k!” moment every designer, art director, writer, creative director and project manager dreads—the blatant error seen only too late—after the press run and unveiling. Hopefully its production on marketing collateral and apparel hasn’t gone too far. Then again, maybe it was intentional.
And to the folks up in arms over the negative space between the two letters; that’s not a mistake. The entire logo is outlined in white, so it’s only reasonable that the white carries over into that space as well. Sure realistically a pixel or two of red might appear if true to the outline, but then you’re left with an ill-considered red dot. It’s better off omitted. Visit UniWatch for more.
A Repo Man Spends His Life Getting Into Tense Situations! Everybody knows that. Or at least everybody who was raised with an appreciation of terrible 80’s flicks. But a Montgomery County Sherriff gave one repo worker a bit more than the standard “don’t touch my car” grief. Guns were drawn, badges were flashed. But the car was returned, so happy ending for all? We’ll see what the DA has to say eventually. Visit Click2Houston for more.
Expressway Armageddon 3 AM cruises around the 610 loop are a bit safer since the gaping pot hole near Ella was repaired yesterday. TxDOT claims they are still unsure what caused the road damage to begin with, but by the look of it, I think we have to assume it was a meteor strike worthy of a Michael Bay movie. Visit Click2Houston for more.
Firing Shots Outside Spaghetti Warehouse—Not Gonna Happen, Man. You’re Ridin’ on a Buffalo. Remember?
The 24-year old intoxicated fella wasn’t the guy on a buffalo. Who’s to say he wasn’t in that mindset. I’ll admit, I’ve had my faculties stormed by the mountain-man, buffalo-riding, Kentucky long-rifle wielding confidence that comes as a result of too much Bailey’s. I’d grab the nearest push-broom in hopes that its faster top speed would help me save orphans. Put yourself in Adam’s place. Physical and legal limitations go right out the window. Visit ABC13 for more.
Easter International: Vietnamese, Spanish, Korean, English and Spanich This past weekend’s multicultural camaraderie is certainly something to be excited about. It serves as a shred of evidence that we can all in fact, get along- even if it only concerns one religion. It’s a start. Visit ABC13 for more.
An Increase in Bad News - Brought to You by the Man in Black
A 27-year-old individual beats his two-year-old son for pulling off window tint. Missing mother of four is abused and murdered by the criminal she was wed to. Party-goers are shot at Surfside. Individual chokes and burns wife. Visit any news outlet for more.
Houston Welcomes Home Iraq War Vets If you were in Downtown on Saturday you might’ve noticed a parade moving southeast along Texas Avenue toward Minute Maid Park. That was the city of Houston welcoming back our nation’s Iraq War veterans. Apparently Houston is only the second “large” city to do so. Politics aside, they’ve sacrificed a lot. Thank you. Visit ABC13 for more.
Montgomery County’s Largest Egg Drop!
Call me old-fashioned, but I didn’t realize there was such a thing as an egg drop, let alone enough to conjure comparisons. Well, they exist. This one dropped thousands. I should very much hope they weren’t eggs of the golden variety. That might be cause for concern. Visit ABC13 for more.
Brown Manganese and Iron Infused Tap Water Citizens in Danbury are complaining about the their water supply; its characteristics are listed above. The Texas Commission on Environmental Quality and the City of Danbury issued the following message, “SUCK IT UP!” Visit ABC13 for more.
Elementary School Curriculum: Gators 101
Seasoned alligator catcher, Texas Department of Parks & Wildlife game warden Barry Eversole nonchalantly quips that “It’s not rare to see gators this time of year. It gets blown way out of proportion.” It’s breeding season. Keep this in mind though, “Oh yeah, they’ll take your arm off,” he said. Visit TheChron for more.
City Boy Can Survive
The old adage about rural folk having the leg-up in survival situations seems to be incorrect as many city slickers are just as prone to gun ownership, shelter building and food storage. Fear knows no demographic. Just ask the people at Top Brass Military & Tactical. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.
12 Hurt On Their Way From Tampa to Houston
On Tuesday, United flight 1727 was en route from Tampa to Houston. Along the way it struck a rift in the space-time continuum causing an incredible amount of turbulence, over what the pilots think was Lake Charles, Louisiana. That’s the second time we’ve mentioned space-time today for anyone that’s counting. Visit TheChron for more.
Our Uppity Neighbors to the North are Still Our Neighbors
If you haven’t heard about the hail and tornadoes that ravaged parts of the DFW area yesterday, I would suggest pulling your head out of your nether regions. They require assistance. Here’s a few ways to help if you feel inclined to do so. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.
