September 22nd, 2010

Dear Houston: How ‘Bout Dem Texans?

Dear Houston, how excited am I allowed to be that the Texans have started the year 2-0 and the Cowboys are failing to live up to expectations at 0-2?

Getting giddy,

Eric, Downtown


In the words of every stereotypical high school football coach after a touchdown celebration, “Son, act like you been there before”, because frankly, we have. Remember 2007? Yeah we were 2-0 then too, and don’t give me any arguments about quality of opponents beaten then vs. now – this is the NFL we’re talking about where anyone can beat anyone at any given time (except Detroit).

True, we got a big, nasty gorilla off of our backs by manhandling the Indianapolis Peyton Mannings in week one. But had the ‘Skins game gone the other way last week, it would have been yet another example of blatant game mismanagement by Keystone Kubiak.

Loping casually to the line during time-sensitive situations?
Having your punter run around for three seconds and fall down to end regulation?
Wussing out of a 52 yard field goal to win it? Because of a breeze?!

These plays are not in most playbooks. And you can save the tired “playing the percentages” garbage too. You play. To win. The game. There is a thin line between genius and insanity and Coach K seems to enjoy straddling it every Sunday.


Now, before we have a mutiny on our hands, let me clarify my devil’s advocacy. I’m not saying not to get excited. The dice have fallen our way so far and I’ll take a W any way it comes. I’m just saying to take things with a grain of salt and please, please, please stop measuring our success by Big D’s yardstick. I’ve never seen a team with so much talent mismanaged by a group about as effective as the Three Stooges. (Dave Campo can be Shemp.) When you call the Texans the biggest kid on the Dallas Cowboys’ short bus, well, guess what – we’re still on the short bus and someone is going to take us to school.

Judging our own success by the failure of others puts us in the same irrational shoes as the Houstonians that take the Titans as their lawfully wedded “second team” or cheer Vincent “Wonderlic” Young into the endzone at Reliant. Take into account that one game does not a season make. Neither do two, three or four for that matter, and that’s a two-way street. Eventually, that squirrelly little doofus Romo is going to get the ship righted and the scary thing is that we’ve put a nice, fat target on our backs for our in-state rivals.

So, to sum things up, Eric, don’t get excited – get ready to get excited. When Dallas comes to town on Sunday, 72,000 rabid Texans fans hungry for 3-0 are going to show the Cowgirls some Bayou City hospitality. When the dust settles, if we’re notching another dub in the bedpost, then it’ll be time to party.

16-0 in your hearts,


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— Tea Jones


ramy_v — Wednesday, September 22, 2010 2:16 pm

My vote for Best Tag of the Year Award goes tooooo….

“Bud Adams is a Fucktard”

Paul — Wednesday, September 22, 2010 2:50 pm

Agreed. It’s the simple things and realities in life that deserve the praise.

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