March 31st, 2011

Final Four Field Guide: University of Kentucky

With all the fans coming into town this weekend for the Final Four, we realized that we needed to do what we could to help them out. Using some brash generalizations and stereotypes we’ve decided on a few places we could send the fans of Kentucky, Butler, Virgina Commonwealth and UConn. You’re welcome.

University of Kentucky

All you need to know: Ahh, the crown jewel university of the Blue Grass State. The dulcimer tones of the banjo and the propensity of your basketball players to make asses of themselves in the NBA make us squeal with delight. Getting coached by a quack who’d otherwise be hocking snake oil salves and cure-all liniments really completes the package.

Where we’d send their fans in Houston:


Passports Stamped Here
If infographics are to be trusted, Kentucky has an one of the lowest passports per capita of any state. If the Great Nation of Texas was anything like Arizona, we’d be tossing Blue Grassers out of Houston with more fervor than John Wall left with for the NBA. But we happen to embrace the international aspects of our city. You can check out some of our favorite Tex-Mex at El Tiempo, Tex-Greek at Niko Niko’s or Tex-Italian at Stella Sola.

I Just Wanna Dance
Speaking of John Wall, his affinity for The Dougie has us assuming that most Wildcat fans are clubrats. That means we’re sending you to Hush. It’s out in the boonies from a Loopster’s frame of reference, but being from Kentucky you’ll think it’s an urban mecca. We’re not even sure if Hush is still open, but it should probably reopen just for you.

Professor Calipari
The Enron School of Business Ethics has long since closed, but Coach John Calipari was long a tenured professor. Review his textbooks on such practices as paying recruits and skirting NCAA infractions. Evidence? We have none. But if did exist, we would say that Marfreless would have been Coach Cal’s favorite spot in Houston. For discerning gentleman of questionable morals, this will be the perfect place for Wildcat fans to seal the deal before cutting down the (fish)net. Maybe you’ll even run into your interstate rival, Coach Pitino. It seems like his kind of place.

Fire Away
Because we’re fans of Justified, we’re obviously scholars when it comes to Kentucky. That means your interests include coal mining, oxycodone, moonshine, quarreling familial clans and guns. Especially guns. Well, we know a guy that can aim you in the right direction: Mr. Guns & Tacos himself. His favorite is the Top Gun Range and so it should be yours. We know you don’t want to come all the way down to Houston without getting (your pistol) off.

Go Wildcats!

— The Loop Scoop


ramy_v — Thursday, March 31, 2011 1:24 pm

This post was… Justified.

Kris — Thursday, March 31, 2011 4:39 pm

Coal mining, moonshine, and oxycontin? Seriously? This reminds me of the “everyone wears boots and drives a Caddy with horns on the hood” Texas stereotype. What about the Bluegrass, world’s most awesome race horses, and a basketball tradition rivaled only by UCLA. C’mon, you can do better than this.

Gina — Thursday, March 31, 2011 11:36 pm

Ha. like the Hush reference. All in good fun, friends. Personally, I’d love to drive a Caddy with horns on it.

Add Your Comment