May 20th, 2010
Glitter Karaoke: Cold Shots + Hot Mic = A One-Two Punch
We don’t always see things the same way at The Loop Scoop, so we’ve come up with a way to share our multiple personalities points of view with you. We’re going to call it “Write Off!” and hopefully you will begin to see one or two a month. Today we pit our new, succinct author Tea Jones up against our long-winded, veteran, Paul. Let the games writing begin!
My dad used to tell me “Son, it’s not karaoke until you’ve had five shots of whiskey, tried to pee in a potted plant and fallen off the stool while sobbing the words to ‘Tiny Dancer‘.” He knew how to party and was full of sage advice. By his definition though, I batted 0 for three at Glitter Karaoke. Yet somewhere between my atonal rendition of Sister Hazel that sounded more like a blue whale with a hemorrhoid, and screams of “Shots!”, a fun and energetic evening just sort of fell into my lap.
The interesting thing is that no one really ever thinks karaoke will be part of the night’s billing when they gear up for an evening out. No one ever really says to themselves “Hey, self, you know what sounds great? Getting abhorrently intoxicated and singing impromptu Motown in front of a crowd of complete strangers.” Karaoke just sort of happens. It evolves. And once the wheels have been set in motion, there’s no turning back.
Glitter Karaoke would normally be a place that I would discount due to the high hair gel to follicle ratio and travesties such as ironed pants and $70 t-shirts. However, just like in any karaoke joint, everyone gets put on the same playing field when they wrap their sweaty mitts around a live microphone and belt out “My Prerogative.” It is at this point, that the flashing neon lights and garish décor become a scathing inside joke at the expense of those who huddle in a corner and refuse to engage in a little self-deprecation. It is at this point, that I just plain rock.
- Tea Jones
More people count public speaking as a phobia than any other one thing, which begs the question, why is karaoke so popular. I can only guess that, though public, there is usually no speaking whatsoever – unless you feel it necessary to tell your audience they’re going to be experiencing a eight-measure musical interlude. Of course, there’s one other important difference between reciting from the third quarter earnings report and butchering some Billy Ray Cyrus: Alcohol. On Saturday night, Tea Jones and I put these social constructs to the test at Glitter Karaoke in Midtown Houston, taking the unsuspecting bar by storm.
Who cares that the bouncer was the first to take the microphone and put everyone to shame with a spot on version of “Texas Flood?” Or that the next three acts lived up to that too-high standard by hardly missing a note of “Me and Mrs. Jones,” “Possum Kingdom” and “You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling?” Given enough liquid courage and peer pressure, anyone is willing to step up and take on four minutes of Third Eye Blind. Who cares that there are three professional cameras floating around the room taking candid photos of crimson-faced crooners? Actually, everyone cares about that; especially the morning after, which is why I had 17 text messages by the time the sun shot through my blinds.
It didn’t take long (read: ten songs) and it didn’t take much (read: three shots) to convince me to accompany a friend in singing “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant.” Though the ethereal moments have long since passed and there will never be formal documentation that it actually happened (thank the good Lord above), the night in its entirety will be burned in my brain forever. From having to do my best crouching tiger, pissing dragon impression at the urinals that were no more than a foot and a half off the ground to witnessing the destruction of “Islands in the Stream,” there wasn’t a dull moment at Glitter, either in the commode or on the stage.
Sometimes you stumble into a party and sometimes the party crashes you, but when karaoke is involved, you know full well exactly what you’re getting yourself into. There’s no reason to shirk your responsibility for having a night of fun. “Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their party,” which is exactly what Tea and I did at Glitter Karaoke.