May 31st, 2010

Memorial Day: A Loopster “How to” Guide

If you’re reading this, you need to reconsider your Monday. You’re off (hopefully) from work. You’re sitting here before noon (maybe) surfing the web (obviously) and ignoring the point of Memorial Day: Barbecuing and other outdoor activities. Obviously, this has been and will continue to be the best way to honor the fallen men and women of our armed forces. Nothing says “thank you, sirs and madams for defending our country with your life” than burning kabobs on the grill. Ok, certainly there are better ways to honor those that have defended the American Way.

So, dear reader, stop reading right now! Actually, you can keep on reading (and keep coming back, you have kind eyes) because we’re going to give you our guide of how to celebrate Memorial Day in Houston with our special brand of Loopster flair.

Here’s How You Do It

1) Call Your Friends – Come on, I know you have friends. Pick up that phone and give them a ring. If you conveniently stole the girlfriend of the only guy in your phone that you know is having a party. It’s Memorial Day… He’ll come around.

2) Get Food – Look in your fridge… Ok, there’s nothing except packets of Arby’s Sauce and the leftovers from Timmy Chan’s that you bought a month ago (note: apparently, I’m channeling college as I’m writing this). Go to the grocery store. If you get there before noon you might be able to get your hands on a decent pork loin to bring to the park.

3) Find the Park – Where are they? Memorial? Eleanor Tinsley? Jack Brooks? Get a destination, write down the directions and hit the road. Bring any outdoorsy stuff you have in your home. Nerf Football? Check. Frisbee? Check. Lawn Darts? Check. NO! Don’t bring the Lawn Darts. They mean certain death. Trust me!

4) Did You Remember Beer? – You’re a good man/woman.

5) Relax – You’re off work, you’re with friends, you’re golden. You can do the rest without our help. You’ve made the big time, champ.

If you’re allergic to the sun (or any of the other 10,000 things that make you sneeze in the air right now) I’m sure you already have an indoorplan for the day. Maybe reading every article on The Loop Scoop is your plan, and for that I commend you. Maybe you’re headed off to the malls to take one last chance at finding that pair of jeans you really want on sale. I don’t know. All I know is that I’ve found a beach towel, laid it out in the grass and forgotten to put on sunscreen. On Tuesday I will introduce the all new, red-as-a-tomato-Pauldo to Houston. Be ready.

— Paul

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