December 8th, 2011

NEWScoop: Beef or Pork?, Lashings for Driving, Kate Spade Complex, Big East Hearts UH, and Texas’ Tummy Hurts

Great, But Were They Beef or Pork??
Students and community members banded together at a San Antonio middle school to beat the world record for tamale making – over 2,400 pounds in 10 hours.  That’s 240 pounds per hour.  That’s 4 pounds per minute.  That’s… just a crapload of tamales.  And it’ll all be for nothing, unless the elementary school kids happened to be engaged in a similar mission involving salsa making around the same time.  Visit for more.

Women Drivers Finally Get What’s Coming to Them…
Women drivers… am I right, Fellas? Always getting their face and hair did while behind the wheel of a ton of whizzing death. Actually, none of those American-Sexist comments have anything to do with this story. A former Houstonian has been sentenced to lashings by whip in Saudi Arabia for just getting behind the wheel. That, my friends, is ridiculous. Visit KHOU for more.

Kate Spade and Coach Inferiority Complexes Just Got Worse
An Hermes Birkin purse is the holy grail for worldly handbag aficionados.  And a red Hermes encrusted in diamonds, well that’s enough to make a greedy gal weep.  Such a bag sold at a Dallas auction for just a smidgen over 200K.  For that price, angels had better sing down from the heavens every time you reach inside for your tube of chapstick.  Men currently Christmas shopping for their lady folk are hereby advised to step up their game.  Visit MyFoxHouston for more.

It’s News that UH and Big East are Accepting Life Lines from Each Other?
I’m not sure why. It’s been speculation immanent for months. The dying Big East has been desperately seeking blood transfusions after losing an arm, one index finger, and a pinky toe, in West Virginia, Pittsburgh, and Syracuse. Worse yet, the Big East has kept said body parts on ice. Metaphors aside, they need UH and UH needs them. Let’s stop acting surprised… Visit MyFoxHouston for more.

Texas’ Tummy is Upset
The grounds been rumblin’ and grumblin’ more lately. A string of low-magnitude earthquakes are what geologists are blaming on the problem, but we all know that’s not the case. Texas just has a bit of indigestion it’s working through. Do the right thing and pour some Mylanta down your closest sewer drain tonight. Help alleviate some of the pressure. Visit Click2Houston for more.

— The Loop Scoop


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