September 22nd, 2011

NEWScoop: Big Bob, Scissors, Another Grocery Store, Wet Eyes, and a Bomb

Big Game Bob? Wwwould We Say That?
At the risk of putting in too many forced connections, we’ll call the man in this story Crazy Old Maurice. Hmmmmm? COM has been telling anyone that’ll listen that a cougar is loose in the village. Shasta? No. It’s most likely not a big game predator and more likely a bobcat… Visit MyFoxNews for more on this story.

Whatever Happened to Scissors in the Arm?
One teenager stabbed another teenager in the neck and shoulder with a pair of scissors. Was it over a spray bottle altercation? The neck, really?! “Oh, My. Gooo, I cannot believe you just—I’m gonna have to go to the f#@king hospital…” Visit KHOU for more on this story.

How About Another Grocery Store?
There’s this thing we do really well, it’s delicious sustenance. There’s thing we got a lot of, that’s grocery stores. Then there’s this other thing that’s nearly non existent, that’s movie theatres in the Loop that serve alcohol… Visit ABC13 for more.

Hey Kid, Don’t Sit so Close to the Earth, You’ll Go Blind
Astronauts have been noticing strange changes in vision due to long hauls in microgravity… or ogling at Earth too long. Take a picture, it’ll last longer. Riiight? But seriously, if we’re going to have the Enterprise kicking ass by 2151, we can’t be getting cold feet… Visit ABC13 for more.

Bombay. Bombardier. Bomb.
One of these things was not so far from here. Two of these things might bring fear. One of these things is a foreign place. One of them is cause for Amazing Grace… Visit ABC13 for more.

Richard / Paul

— The Loop Scoop


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