December 2nd, 2011

NEWScoop: Bloodsuckers Play Ball, Bring the Scotch, Covet Thy Neighbor’s Coach, Cheap Gas? and Turkey Molesters

Play Ball, Bloodsuckers
A fuzzy green mosquito named Swatson was introduced yesterday as the mascot of the new Sugar Land minor league baseball team. While naming a West Nile carrying pest to be the team’s representative may prove a controversial choice, at least the Sugar Land ‘Skeeters’ wisely avoided the urban dictionary route… Visit AbcLocal for more.

I’ll Bring the Scotch
The Montgomery County Ice Cutters Christmas display offers a small repose for Houstonians yearning for a winter wonderland. Unfortunately, this massive display of ice will in no way score us one of those coveted arctic disaster days off from work. I asked. Visit YourHoustonNews for more.

Aggies Continue down C*ck-Envy Avenue
First, the Aggies thought the grass was greener in the SEC so they ditched conferences and a 100+ game rivalry with UT. Now, they covet thy neighbor’s coach after firing Mike Sherman. The prized bird in the national head coach sweepstakes is Kevin Sumlin who is one game from laying the golden BCS egg… And University of Houston fans everywhere have started holding their breath. Visit Chron.com for more.

Gas Prices Down to 6 Cents a Gallon
Oh, never mind. Gas prices are down six cents a gallon. Not down to six cents. I guess that all leaves us six cents none the richer… ha ha ha (/Dodges rotten tomato). I’ll show myself to the door. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.

Don’t Feed (On) the Animals
Waste not, want not… At least that’s what mama said. Instead of fighting the grocery store crowds for a turkey last week, a man in New Braunfels took the fight to the bird. If you’re going to grab a wild turkey by the neck, let’s hope it’s a bottle of 151 and not the real thing… and let’s hope that the turkey isn’t a beloved resident of a park. Visit Chron.com for more.

…Then Again…
All turkeys must die a horrible death. This nuisance must be stopped.

— The Loop Scoop

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