January 19th, 2012

NEWScoop: Cupid Cat Ciller, Perry at the Alamo, Cabbage Contraband, Earthquake in Texas and Withheld Funds

Operation: Catching Cupid, the Arrow Casting Cat Ciller
This little cat wandered for days impaled with an arrow. That’s cruel and unfortunate. Even more unsettling are the implications and predictions being voiced by one commenter on Click2Houston’s site. Have we got a man hunter on our hands? The leap from feline to human is only six feet. That’s a broad jump, people.

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Visit Click2Houston for more.

Rick Perry at the Battle for the Alamo and Texas Independence From Mexico
You can look at this two ways. He stayed in the Alamo and perished with the last man, in keeping with his promise to soldier on to South Carolina. This means that he was never meant to win the election anyway. That’s forethought. His sacrifice was made to allow General Gingrich’s day of victory at San Jacinto. The Democrats are the Mexicans. Ron Paul is a reckless Jim Bowie.

Or, he deserted and never made it to the fight. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.

Who Says Cabbage has No Health Benefits?
Authorities in Brownsville sniffed out millions in contraband yesterday. Contraband? If by contraband you mean “an effective treatment for the symptoms of cancer, AIDS, multiple sclerosis, pain, glaucoma, epilepsy, and other conditions.” Visit TheChron for more.

3rd Earthquake in Texas, It’s Just Another Thursday
The ground is unsettled. Pipes and water mains have burst. Fires have erupted. That’s a hell of  a lot of damage that was in no way caused by earthquakes. That was droughts. That was record heat. It’s going to be 77 degrees today—in January. Visit Click2Houston for more.

Pay Them, Pay That Band Its Money
John Malkovich needs to step in on the behalf of some Prairie View band members. The Marching Stormers won that money fair and square, but the university is holding out on them. Several of the musicians claim they were promised scholarships and have yet to see a dime. Obviously, they need to trade in their trombones and piccolos and start up a gambling ring. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.

— The Loop Scoop

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