November 28th, 2011

NEWScoop: Dallas Inhales Smoke, Denny’s Man Has Gun, Towns Mislead, Fratellis Snatch, and Drugs Push

Dallas Gets Cold Grilling Outside, Moves Grill Inside, Breaths Deeply
Some unfortunate Dallasites knew not the dangers of cooking meat inside on a charcoal grill. The same front that blew into Houston yesterday, froze our clumsy neighbors to the north. They first moved the grill into their garage to finish cooking the meat. They then carried it into their living room to warm their guests… Visit TheChron for more.

9 Out of 10 Men Eating Grandslams Have Concealed Weapons
Armed robbers made a misstep in attacking a man at Denny’s in the early morning. It’s clearly stupid’s bidding. This must’ve been just after hitting the VFW and expecting its members to calmly listen while calling them a bunch of p@#sies. Or robbing Brick Top’s bookies and expecting no retribution. It’s folly… Visit KHOU for more.

We Like Our Town Names Misleading
Weeping Mary is odd all by itself. North Zulch exists north of nothing, no “regular” Zulch or Middle Zulch. Big Lake has no lake. Muenster and Oatmeal? Joy and Prosper? Weird… Visit TheChron for more.

These Really Disgusting People, Maybe You’ve Heard of ‘Em—They’re the Fratellis
Last we heard of them, they’d been arrested in Oregon twenty something years ago. It seems that, either by parole for good behavior or simply escaping, they’re far from their old summer restaurant stomping grounds. Their latest spree makes use of the purse snatch. Be cautious of old Jeep Cherokees with bullet holes the size of matzah balls… Visit KHOU for more.

These Drugs aren’t Going to Push Themselves
Houston area doctors received some big incentives this year for testing and lecturing on specific drugs. In return they received large sums of money, free food, and research funding. If a restaurant offered me $300,000 to do the same for the taste and benefits of the Big Mac, I’d find good things to say.  Eventual double airplane fares be damned.Visit HBJ for more.

— The Loop Scoop


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