September 29th, 2011

NEWScoop: Dick, Faces Captured, Vague Defense, a First Rodeo, and a Lack of Etiquette

Everyone’s Tired of Dick
There’s one in every crowd. Yeah, I’m talking about Dick. The guy that figures the rules don’t apply. The City of Houston, common folks, hell even artists have taken issue with the over abundance of political signage. “Every campaign puts out illegal signs, I don’t encourage it. I don’t put it out myself.” And I eat gallons of ice cream for the calcium. Visit ABC13 for more on this story.

Bing, Bang, Boob, Caught Your Face on the Tube
“Ever dance with the devil in the pale moon light?” “In this universe, there’s only one absolute… everything freezes!” Everyone’s got their witty quips. As the thieves ran off from one Heights resident’s home empty handed, I can only imagine it went something like the headline of this paragraph. What’s a defeat without a clever one liner? Visit KHOU for more on this story.

“We take care of it just as anybody else with any kind of pattern of anything.”
Vermin, critters, bugs, you name it, chances are you’ll find one if not all in at least 5% of schools’ cafeterias in the Houston area. Like big corporations, the repeat offenders keep offending. While continuing to serve food in unsanitary environments is troubling, I have to commend them on their PR. “Any kind of pattern of anything.” And I’m the guy in clothes with the face. Visit KHOU for more on this story.

This is Clearly Your FIRST Rodeo
If you were to come to me for advice on stealing a car, and you wouldn’t. I’d probably caution against a mini-van. That’s eating popcorn shrimp off the table you bussed that year you worked at Joe’s Crab Shack. Stupid. We’ve seen this before. Two teens took what wasn’t theirs last month in North Houston. What was it they stole? A mini-van. They too were effortlessly caught. Youngsters. First, don’t go taking others’ things. Second, don’t go taking others’ things. Visit KHOU for more on this story.

Criminals Not Concerned with Etiquette
One brigand of the Woodlands has been bronzenapping homes. The proverbial geyser hit the clouds when said brigand removed a water valve from a fire station. “Obviously it’s discouraging that somebody would take something from the public safety community like this, you know, when we’re out there trying to help others.” Good point. It’s all bronzenapping fun until your house catches fire. Visit KHOU for more on this story.

— Richard


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