November 9th, 2011

NEWScoop: Don Draper’s Advice Column, Occupied Houston, Santa’s No Sailor, Monkey Fatties and Pretty People

WWDDD: What Would Don Draper Do?
People that get cheated on will undoubtedly call their moonlighting mate “stupid,” but that seems to be a fact according to private eyes. Folks, how many shows are out there that literally show you the dos and don’ts of cheating? How many episodes of Mad Men will it take for you to understand how to stay under the radar. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.

Once Occupied Houston
Jaywalking. Tarp erecting. Next thing you’re going to tell us is that this bazooka is illegal. Occupiers of Houston are not above the law, apparently. The stronghold of the 99% is six people weaker today. Visit KHOU for more.

Santa Ain’t No Sailor
This is downright blasphemous. Santa’s mode of transport is well-documented. Sleigh. Reindeer. Magical flight. This is no time to go and start changing that reality. We might overlook this travesty if Saint Arnold’s sends a case our way… Free of charge, of course. Visit Chron’s Beer, TX Blog for more.

Cures the Fat, but Can it Cure Lazy?
Fat monkeys. That’s a rich though, isn’t it. Well, those robust primates have found their phen-phen. Now the drug might be coming to the human race. I say we should have let those monkeys keep getting fat if only to avoid the future that Charleton Heston foretold. Visit Chron.com for more.

Take This Quarter, Go Downtown and Have a Rat Gnaw That Thing Off Your Face
Ugly people… who wants to work with ‘em? Yeah right… Everyone on The Loop Scoop staff looks like someone plucked from a J. Crew catalog. It’s not easy being so pretty. Then again, it’s pretty easy. Maybe the rest of you need to heed Uncle Buck’s advice. Visit KHOU for more.

— The Loop Scoop

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