February 7th, 2012

NEWScoop: Drought = Mission Accomplished, Renters Try to Sell, Washington Ave. Racism, Breastfeeder Unite, Texans Odds at 12-1

Officials Hold Off “Mission Accomplished” Banner for Drought
We’ve gotten a lot of rain lately, but we’re not on the road to the Emerald City quite yet. While most of us want to hang the “Mission Accomplished” banner a la The Dubya, forecasters are still warning of an arid spring and summer. We won’t let the dry weather dampen our spirits… Visit Chron.com for more.

Let Hertz Put You in the Seller’s Seat
It seems so easy. They give you the keys at the counter and all you have to do is fill up the car when you return it. Rental car locations are the best. It feels like your own vehicle. Just don’t try to sell it. That’s when things get messy. Especially if you forge the title as “Marcus Hertz.” Oh, you goofball criminals. Visit Click2Houston for more.

White, Houston Rappers Accuse Washington Club of Racism
Drank, a houston rap trio, was (allegedly!) turned away at the door of Roosevelt Lounge for having an integrated posse recently. The members claim that doorman wouldn’t let them in because [quote] you have too many blacks [unquote]. Things heated up, arrests were made, tasers were tased, and the Washington night club now has a black eye… Visit MyFoxHouston for more.

Keep It in Your Shirts, Moms
Breastfeeders are uniting against the “man” as they will not be censored any longer. Their mammaries will be seen by one and all. Moms are complaining that Facebook is taking down photos of them feeding their babies. This injustice will not stand. Boobies for everyone! Visit KHOU.com for more.

Texans as 8th Best Not Good Enough for Chronicle
My checkbook is poised. The Texans come in at 12-1 odds to win the Super Bowl next year. When is it too early to bet on the Super Bowl? Never, said the degenerate. Apparently, being listed as having the eighth best chance in the league to earn the Lombardi isn’t good enough for the writers at our Houston daily. At least we’re not the Jaguars… They come in as 150-1 “favorites.” Visit Chron.com for more.

— Paul


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