February 10th, 2012
NEWScoop: Fire on Ice, Girlfriend Adoptions, Noodle Thief, Washington Ave. Antics and Satire is Hard
Fire on ICE!!!!!
Seriously, news outlets. How could you miss this opportunity? A fire in a ice rink is cause for giddiness over the headlines that can ensue. Don’t give me this boring, topical, factual-without-snark title. This is a news event tailored to uncreative prom themes. You just let it slip away. Visit Click2Houston for more.
Adopting Girlfriend Might Piss Off Biological Children?
While getting points for creativity, John Goodman may have earned himself a court date with his children. After adopting his 42 year old girlfriend, entitling her to one third of a $300 million trust he has for his kids, those that he birthed may bring him in front of a judge. This is in addition to when he will be in court due to death of a driver he crashed into a drainage ditch full of water. Visit Chron.com for more.
Thief Uses Noodle, Grabs $15 from Noodlehood
The smash and grab earned a Houston criminal three things: fifteen bucks, a bunch of invoices and his photo on Facebook. A BMW-driving thief broke through the front door of the Heights location of Jenni’s Noodle House and went viral soon thereafter as people tried to identify the unmasked man. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.
February 4th Was Not a Good Day on Washington
We told you about a racial controversy in front of Roosevelt this weekend. Then, we discovered some of the same that led to the arrest of two Houston Dynamo players who claim the doorman was being racist as well. Now we get news of a man in a coma after an altercation outside The Lot. Seriously, we hope you made it out of Washington without a scratch if you were there this weekend. Visit Chron.com for more.
Satire is Hard; Re-Naming Gulf of Mexico is Harder
Lawmakers trying to make a point missed it entirely with a bill aiming to rebrand the “Gulf of Mexico” as “Gulf of America.” These things are difficult to understand… satire, specifically. There’s a reason that the Onion has never put one of it’s staff in the government. Visit KHOU for more.