February 17th, 2012

NEWScoop: Flood Prep, Gonna Eat A Lot of Peaches, Berry’s Montrose Hit-n-Run, Personal Jesus and Son Evicts 98 y/o Mother?

Five Feet High and Risin’
Here’s the plan. Gather up all the gopher wood you can find. Build yourself a boat and coat that sucker inside and out with pitch. Then start rounding up two mated pairs of every animal you can think of (yes, feral cats count). Hunker down and ride out the flood waters. The dove will tell you when it’s over. Godspeed. Visit Chron.com for more.

Moving to the Country… But Where Are All the Peaches?
Millions of peaches, peaches will freeze. Terrible low-points of 90’s alt music aside, this is no laughing matter. Texas peach growers are nervous. Aggie professors are working over time. And cobblers all over the state anxiously await news of their fate.  Visit Chron.com for more.

Hit and Run Gets Hot and Sticky for Michael Berry
Back in January, it seems like everyone’s favorite, Houston, conservative radio gabber might have gotten himself in a sticky situation at a Montrose gay bar. Michael Berry is accused of backing into another bar patron’s car before hightailing out into the night. New video shows the right-winger amongst the drag queens at the bar (TC’s). This is probably going to get messy. Visit Click2Houston for more.

Finding Jesus Was Never So Easy
Just take a look, Jesus is in a book. Or maybe in some tar that’s stuck on your car. Oh, lookee me, he’s on a tree. He’s in my heart, now that’s a start. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.

Son Tries to Evict Mother from House… 98 Year-Old Mother
There are scumbags and then there are scumbags. A guy trying to evict his nearly-centenarian mother from the house her husband built is an a-hole of the highest degree. It’s too bad “Guy on a Buffalo” isn’t around to witness this injustice. He would never stand for it. Visit KHOU.com for more.

— The Loop Scoop

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