March 15th, 2012

NEWScoop: God Save the Queen, Fun and Games, Reunited, Fakebook and Stealing Hearts

God Save the Queen
Michael Warren is a fugitive after shooting and wounding popular Houston chef Sylvia Casares.  Guess what, Mikey: HPD tracking you down is the least of your worries.  You think you can just roll up in here and attack Houston’s Enchilada Queen?  You’re about to have every enchilada enthusiast in town bounty hunting your ass.  Don’t jack with our Tex-Mex. Visit Chron.com for more.

It’s All Fun and Games Until Inspections Fail
How many contusions and concussions are we going to stand by and take, Houston?  The rodeo carnival is once again out to mangle the citizens of our city and we can not – will not – take it any more.  And you know what else?  I heard they’re developing nuclear weapons underground beneath one of the fun houses.  Time to invade the Carnis.  We may not wanna, but we know what we’ve gotta do.  Visit KHOU for more.

Reunited and It Feels… Etc, Etc
A kidnapped child has been found and returned to his mother after eight long years.  No jokes here – we’re genuinely thrilled for this family.  Now, start spoiling that poor little traumatized kiddo like crazy.  Visit Chron.com for more.

Facebook Gets a Fakebook
In a twisted power play, a man has created a fake Facebook page for Alexandria Hudson, a Houston teen who passed away in 2008.  The creator of the page claims to have had a relationship with Alexandria, and the deceased girl’s family is justifiably enraged.  However, Facebook claims that prosecuting the imposter may prove difficult, as his location is unkown.  Riiiight.  Give it up, Facebook.  We all know you know where and who we all are.  Use those Big Brother powers for good, for once.  Visit YourHoustonNews for more.

How to Steal Someone’s Heart… Literally
The patron saint of Dublin, St. Laurence O’Toole, is without a heart. The organ and the heart-shaped box that carried it were stolen from Christ Church Cathedral. This is just stooping to a new low. And right before St. Patrick’s Day. At least the Irish will have a reason to drink about this weekend. Visit KTRK for more.

— The Loop Scoop

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