September 14th, 2011

NEWScoop: Grades for Sale, Friendly Faces, Cavalier Attitudes, the Dead, and Legal Drugs

How much for a C minus?
High schools in North Texas recently launched a program which pays students to pass exams. Algebra cramming techniques have greatly improved, but wise-spending skills are slipping. The local Apple store is completely out of iPod Shuffles and Aeropostale is experiencing a severe hoodie inventory shortage. And if those teachers hear a student scream “show me the money!” just one more time… Visit MyFoxHouston for more on this story.

Hostel Welcomes Friendly Faces
Europe is gonna be so mad we stole their idea. A hostel will soon be opening its doors in Montrose to welcome folks of all ages who don’t mind communal style living on vacation. Here’s hoping they all just remember to bring their shower shoes… Visit YourWestUNews for more.

M Disapproves of Your Cavalier Attitude, James
Firefighters in the Conroe Berufsfeuerwehr have been given a one week unpaid vacation for truancy in the wake of Hell’s Fire by Magnolia. Homes are burning. They covertly intercepted… Visit KHOU for more on this story.

Bring Outchya Dead
Dead Collectors will be present at Memorial Park as they haul away those trees that no longer live. A word of caution to those that misbehave, lest you be mistaken as a deceased tree—there ain’t no coming back… Visit ABC13 for more on this story.

Legal Drugs in El Paso
We just wrote about our Western-most Texas neighbor the other day being ahead of its time. They have another reason to be listed at the apex of urbanity. Apparently, El Paso has zones in which drugs are quite legal. That has to be the case because the news story out of The Step states that the only reason that Paul Wall and Baby Bash were arrested for possession was because they were in a “drug free” zone. All hail the “Free Drug” zones of El Paso. Your move, Podestà Parker… Visit MyFoxHouston for more.

Paul / Richard / Kerri

— The Loop Scoop

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