August 29th, 2011
NEWScoop: Houston Beats, Tyranny Survives, Death Runs, and EPCOT Stresses
49ers Can’t Secure Ball or Stadium
The Texans strolled into Candlestick and nonchalantly put their feet on the coffee table. They held the the 9ers to just seven points. Along the way they forced two picks, one of which was taken back for a sixer. No, sir/ma’m, the 9ers weren’t ready on that day. The Visit KHOU for more on this story.
Houston Caught Beating its Heat
Saturday was the warmest day this year. It tied the hottest day ever recorded in Houston, with a temp of 109er. If Houston’s going to tease us with these hottest of hotties, the least it can do is break EVERY damn record. Call me a perfectionist, but I want that hottest day ever mark smashed—like the stumbling suburban patrons that devour Washington Ave. every weekend. Visit ABC13 for more on this story.
HOA, Tyrannical Botanical
A gentleman in the northern part of the Houston territory is being harassed by his HOA (High On Authority?) They claim the man’s choice differs from the law set forth by the Chapter’s elders circa, whenever. You allow diversion from one type of grass and you jeopardize yard stability across the land. Visit MyFoxHouston for more on this story.
Out Run Death by Parking Your Jalopy
With pedestrians being struck by careless drivers on our roadways all the time, we can’t be reminded enough to be careful when on foot around automobiles. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.
EPCOT Stresses Further Future World Conservation
EPCOT is once again stressing responsible consumption of energy throughout the Houston area. With this weekend’s peaks in heat, we also had peaks in energy usage. Follow these mandates to ensure maximum length of use for all electronic equipment:
- Turn off all unnecessary lights.
- When at home, make sure window plasma visors are set to “night.”
- When away from home, shut down main dilithium core.
- Do not use replicators or other home appliances between the peak hours of 1500 and 1900.
- Avoid using holodeck.
Visit ABC13 for more on this story.