September 12th, 2011

NEWScoop: Invasions Repelled and Battles Ongoing

Hundi Temper Atures Reject Truce
Hold fast. The Hundi are launching one last attack on our peaceful climate. “People should know when they’re conquered.” “Would you, Quintus? Would I?” Visit KHOU for more on this story.

Fire Breathing Bulls Defeat the Horse Lords
Without exalted Hamstring King of Houston, the Texans still managed to destroy the Indianapolis horde. Without Field Marshal Manning, the Indianapolins stood little chance for victory. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.

I Shall Flee on Horse Back
A young man of thirteen years took that which was not his. The object of theft was one Horse of Hitchcock. The thief after being discovered by Hitchockian Sentries fled on that which was stolen. He was caught and placed in the dungeon. Visit KHOU for more on this story.

Cancer’s Nemesis Arrives to Lead M.D. Anderson
Dr. Ronald DePinho brings hope in the fight against cancer as he takes the reigns at the University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center. He has a vision. In that vision, cancer does not exist. Visit ABC13 for more on this story.

Our Pits are Dry In Spite of the Heat
With a whopping 160 fires cropping up in the city of Houston since the beginning of September, Podestà Parker has snuffed the park barbecue flames. Not pits are to be used. For now, only warnings will be given. Visit ABC13 for more.

Paul / Richard

— The Loop Scoop


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