October 24th, 2011

NEWScoop: Killer Shark, Flocking Potheads, Marshall Muffs, Dog Doesn’t Go to Heaven, and Confederate Plates?

Every Week is Shark Week
Not in the Gulf, but in Australia a Houston man met his maker in the form of five-ton, razor-toothed, underwater demon. Aussie’s are now searching for the killer Great White to bring it to justice… which will involved extended viewing of Piranha 3DD and unlimited tazing by the friends and family of George Wainwright to cause a massive inferiority complex. Visit Click2Houston for more.

Pot Bust Attracts Even More Potheads
Like the salmon of Capistrano, potheads flocked to Liberty County to witness the largest marijuana bust of the town. Lucid as always, smokers of the herb found their way to the site to see “if there was any pot left.” Luckily for all, there was a illegal Flamin’ Cheetos bust just down the road. Visit Chron.com for more.

Marshall Wants to See Cotton Turner, Gets to See Cotton Turner
After some absurd trash talk by The Herd’s defense about knocking Case Keenum out of Saturday’s game, they got their wish. Only it came at the hands of a blowout which saw the Cougar back-up, Cotton Turner take over the offense in the fourth quarter. We are Marshall. We are ashamed. Visit Sam Khan Jr.’s UH Blog for more.

Dog Doesn’t Go to Heaven, Survives Hell
The age old mantra was put to the test in Wisconsin where a lifeless dog was saved from a blaze and given the “mouth-to-snout” kiss of life from a firefighter. Hopefully this singular action will inspire Air Bud: Firefighter. Visit Click2Houston for more.

What’s Worse: Confederate Plates or Lee Sound Bytes?
Thank goodness we got Sheila Jackson Lee to weigh in on this issue. It’s been far too long since her name was in the news. Visit Click2Houston for more.

— The Loop Scoop

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