August 24th, 2011
NEWScoop: Knickers in a Twist Over Trash, Stolen Power, and Water Use
Squares Fight to Remain Rigid
TxDOT is suing romance author Christie Craig, her publisher, and Barnes & Noble over the title of her latest Stetson-ripper. Don’t Mess with Texas is apparently trademarked, and woe befall any licentious woman who dares use it to sell her sexy prose. TxDOT argues it could damage their image as unsexy, fully-clothed professionals. Visit HoustonPress for more on this story.
Magistrate Removes Myriad of Poisonous Plant
A gentleman, in a houndstooth jacket with leather elbows—no doubt, was in search of wild beasts. Roaming to and fro he spotted what appeared to be cannabis sativa. In General Sam Houston’s National Forest? Langridge! He promptly alerted the law, who in turn uprooted and disposed of the contraband. Visit KHUO for more on this story.
Hot or Trashy? Man Contains Both
On Tuesday morning a rubbish collector’s vehicle caught fire whilst in motion on the motorway. Spontaneous combustion has not been ruled out, however unlikely it may be. The investigation is currently underway. Visit ABC13 for more on this story.
No Reward for Power Stolen
A series of thefts involving the equipment used to supply citizens with internet access, have been occurring all over Houston. The equipment’s owner along with law enforcement are offering a hefty sum for any information that might lead to the discovery of said missing objects. Visit ABC13 for more on this story.
Water Flows Beyond Government Spigot
It’s been roughly a week since the water restrictions were put in place. The amount of water used, however, has only gone up. With city employees struggling to fix breaks, the enforcement of water laws is unlikely. Visit HoustonChronicle for more on this story.