May 8th, 2012

NEWScoop: Meat Slime, Sus Domesticus, Sedentary Life, Impersonation and Complacency


Psychomagnatheric What?
The slime outbreak started in New York back in the 1980’s. After 20 years it’s showing up in Houston. Sounds about right, we’re usually a couple decades behind. The biggest concentration thus far has been found at HISD. MFAH, be mindful of the sewers. You’re next. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.

Judge to HOA, Sus Domesticus IS for the Rest of Us
Back in August 2011, we made a prediction that these potbellied pig haters (HOA in Spring) would get the trounce when the law stepped in. We were correct. A judge ruled that this 70-pound piece of pork is A-OK. Visit KHOU for more.


Car Kills. Speed Kills. Everything Kills.
According to the American Journal of Preventative Medicine and the Houston Chronicle, long car rides are greedily eating our “active” time like Kobayashi inhales franks. Drive slow and it’s heart disease. Drive fast and you’re crushed like a pop can. Visit TheChron for more.

Man Continues the Childhood Fire Fighter Fantasy into Adult Jail
Dakota Runes Short was caught by the Law Dog as he impersonated a Spring Volunteer Firefighter. Was he wearing the gear, boots and helmet? No, he merely had some flashing lights on his car dashboard. Anticlimactic, no?  Visit MyFoxHouston for more.


Rice is Still in Houston
Rice University Police Chief Johnny Whitehead wants everyone to know that the campus is open to one of the largest cities in the nation. That’s after a student was robbed at gunpoint in a parking lot. Clever thief. Visit KHOU for more.

— Richard


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