December 13th, 2011

NEWScoop: Missing Golden Retriever!, Bumper Tankers, Don’t Pick Up the Phone, Church Sell-Out and Sea Turtle Litter?

The Vick Effect
Ever since good old #7 lost his mind a few years back and got caught for all manner of canine related atrocities, folks seem more likely to express outrage for criminal cases involving animals rather than humans. (aka The Ron Mexico Effect) So take some small comfort in knowing that a little girl has been returned to her family safe and sound after becoming an unwitting pawn in a carjacking. Great. Fantastic. She’s good. But grab your citizen’s patrol badge, light your torch and take to the streets – a golden retriever is missing! We repeat; a golden retriever is missing!

We’re Like Two Ships that Crash in the Fog…
I have a feeling that my new carnival game “Bumper Tankers” isn’t going to catch on as intended. The Houston ship channel has been plagued with heavy fog today and caused two tanks to crash into each other early this morning. No injuries or pollutant spills have been reported. There might just be hope for my million carnie idea yet. Visit for more.

Who Ya Gonna Call?
…  “NO-BODY!!” say federal authorities. The National Transit Board has recommended that states ban the use of cell phones while driving except for emergencies. My mother is leading the charge against the cell restriction as I only call her when I’m on the road these days anyway. Don’t mess with this woman. Trust me, lawmakers. Visit for more.

Even Jesus Has a Price?
Along with the housing crisis there is apparently a churching crisis as well. A Houston congregation is without their church after the former pastor sneakily sold it off. Apparently Jesus’ word and home was only worth $125K to the buyer. Seems a little cheap. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.

Sea Turtle Omeleteer Foiled at Bush IAH
A man trying to illegally import sea turtle eggs from El Savador had his precious cargo confiscated by officials at Bush Intercontinental today. The eggs will be sent to South Padre for DNA analysis. No word on whether we can be expecting a litter of baby turtles soon. They do call them a “litter,” right? Visit for more.

— The Loop Scoop


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