October 13th, 2011

NEWScoop: Noise Pollution, Occupied Streets, Cylons Infiltration, Chicken Fried Steak, and a French Castle

Rock and Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution. Correction, It Is If We Say It Is
Some folks tried to round up resistance for the new city-wide ordinance that will enforce stricter noise regulations. Much like the resistance in the Terminator movies, it seems to have failed. Dissent-101: don’t repeatedly bring a T-100 to a T-whatever fight. But seriously, the new laws ain’t no good. Valiant effort. Visit HoustonCalling for more on this story.

Occupy Anywhere, a One Way Ticket to Nowhere
Anyone that has even half paid attention to the news is familiar with the Occupy Movement that we think started in… New York? Now, we don’t want to be Cynthia the Cynic, but, finding accountability and any sense of middle-class empathy in politicians is looking for a grain of sea salt among a beach of the iodized stuff. Visit BrainsandEggs for more on this story.

Cylons Infiltrate Humanity, Sabotage Our Technologic Capabilities
It’s been rumored that Cylons were indeed among us, prancing around in human form. Proof is now evident as a number of synthetic intelligence detectors have picked up an intruder. He blends in. He then steals all electronic devices. Motives are yet unknown. Authorities suspect they will be returned mysteriously with malicious enhancements. Visit KHOU for more on this story.

Nine Times Out of Ten, Chicken Fried Steak Beats No Chicken Fried Steak
The Congress of Houston Independent Cafeterias or CHIC, gathered its representatives. They hope to confirm recent statistics on what today’s children enjoy eating before they sign contracts with future food dealers. Students were given healthy food, unhealthy food, and in some cases placebos. Placebos? It’s all in the name. Example: Health conscious barbacoa and bacon burrito with iceberg lettuce on a whole wheat tortilla. Visit MyFoxHouston for more on this story.

New Offices for the Loop Scoop Staff
I’ve been sayin’ this since early 2010, when people ask me, “What is best in life?” Only one answer will suffice. TLS offices in a French Castle (not in France) and a Key to the City. Check one half off that meager bunch of ambitions. Visit MyFoxHouston for more on this story.

— Richard


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