January 24th, 2012

NEWScoop: Not Cop Arrested, Crack Gets Advert, Fishing the Big Ones, Copper Thievery Done Wrong and Astros Change Name, Perhaps Sport

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Bachelorette Party
It just doesn’t pay to be a male stripper anymore. You better retire the cop costume because there aren’t any “bad, bad girls” to punish in Houston. A man was arrested for impersonating an officer. Take a look at that mugshot, who wouldn’t want that dude at their sexy party. Visit Chron.com for more.

Sex Sells, But Drugs Sell Better
Discretion? Who needs it. Not the drug peddlers. If there’s anything I’ve learned from massive volumes of TV lately, being a drug dealer is the best. None went to the great lengths of mass publicity like our folks in Houston, though. Telephone poles aren’t just for “missing puppy” notices anymore. Visit Chron.com for more.

Drought = More Fish Per Drop?
Somebody better call Tea Jones, them fish are bitin’ down thereparts. The drought took its toll on our water levels, but with Lake Houston almost back to full strength, the fish are coming back stronger than ever. Grab the kids and get to casting. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.

Thieves Must Get Right with God: Go for Silver Not Copper
Copper thieving is all the rage, and there’s at least one hot spot in town: Greater New Grove Christian Worship Center. The church has been struck twice by copper bandits. Maybe they need to sit down for a lesson next Sunday because they’re doing the wrong wrong. The Bible says 30 pieces of silver, not copper. Visit KHOU for more.

New Owner, New Division… Why Not a New Name?
There’s no reason to stop now. The Houston Astros are practically unrecognizable going into the 2012 season. Why not go for a change in name as well? Screw the new uniforms with an old name. Hell, I’m going to start lobbying that the (soon to be not) Astros just change the sport they’re playing as well. Houston’s first professional cricket team is on the horizon. Visit KHOU for more.

— Paul

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