January 18th, 2012

NEWScoop: Purity Balls Chafe, LSU Loses Again, Shit Happens, Thieves Clean, and Frat Boys Like Booze

Purity Balls: Were Balls Ever Unclean?
With regards to Father/Daughter relationships—we’re without child here at the TLS offices, so maybe that gives us an objective view. Or maybe we have no f-ing clue what we’re talking about. Either way, Purity Balls are a very public celebration of an extremely personal commitment. Furthermore, to imply that women are suddenly dirty, should they break their vow to their father (their father?)—that’s recipe for a foul self-image. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.

LSU Loses More than BCS National Championship
Trevon Randle won’t be attending LSU anymore. Trevon who? You know, the beast linebacker at Clear Springs High School, who was at one time listed as the eighth best in the 2011 national high school recruiting class at his position? Rumor has it he’s ditched Baton Rouge and their “eaux” speak in favor of the spirited hand gesture that Paul once described as “one inch away from the shocker.” Go Coogs. Visit TheChron for more.

There are Some Things in this World that Go Way Beyond Human Understanding
Watch all eight minutes and 53 seconds of the video or skip to the relevant part at 3:33. Tuesday morning saw a fireless explosion in an uninhabited apartment to which no power was being supplied. HFD is baffled. I hate to point out the obvious, but “sometimes shit happens, someone has to deal with it, and who ya gonna call?” Visit TheChron for more.

Hey, Thieves Gotta Clean Too
They’ve got no respect for your property, that’s clear. But let’s not make the hurtful assumption that they’ve got no investment in their own. A man in the Woodlands wanted to enjoy his booty in a clean and allergen free house. That’s why he chose Dyson, “only Dyson vacuums have constant powerful suction, high dust removal, the ability to capture allergens, and expel cleaner air.” Visit ABC13 for more.

Texas State Fraternity Phi Delts Served Alcohol at a Party
That’s against city ordinance. “School found out. They didn’t like it. What about everybody else? Why is one group being made an example of?” Those are the passive aggressive statements of fraternity member and oppressed victim, Justin Jackson. Way to roll over on your own kind, kid. Visit KHOU for more.

— The Loop Scoop


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