August 9th, 2011
NEWScoop: Respect Thy Surroundings
A Gently Lady in the Town of Conroe Not So Politely Elicited Verbal and Physical Abuse at a Restaurant of International Fare
Tascha Harris, 32, was not satisfied with the service at Mama Juanita’s Mexican Resturant, just off of I-45. A fellow restaurant patron, 72, objected to Ms. Harris’s cries of discontent, pleading for respect and rational action in the face of unpuffy, puffy tacos. A nose was broken. Possible racial epithets were spoken. Visit Click2Houston for more on this story.
Minister of METRO Performing Duties Again, After a One Week Sabbatical in Light of Nude Perusals
George Greanias issued a sincere apology for viewing inappropriate images whilst coordinating Houston’s complex transportation system. MyFoxNewsHouston has interviewed Mr. Greanias upon his return. They have also provided a short compendium of some of those lewd areas in which his eyes found themselves. Visit MyFoxNewsHouston for more on this story.
Angered Gentleman Brings an Automobile to a Gun Fight
The unknown patron was kindly asked to remove himself from the premises. Objecting to this proposal, he was escorted outside by two men of the Smiley’s Sports Bar Security Force. A war of wards ensued. The mystery man threatened to retrieve his gun. He instead went to his Honda Civic and drove it towards the Security Forces in an attempt to strike them down. Visit MyFoxNewsHouston for more on this story.
The Ministry for Public Safety Requires More of Good Citizens’ Money—Will Continue to Use Red Light Video Enforcement
Since Houston’s red light cameras were reactivated two weeks ago, they have issued more than 3,400 $75 tickets. American Traffic Solutions and HPD say the program’s reinstatement will decrease accidents and free up police officers. Voters are presumably upset because they vetoed the cameras in November. Were the People of Houston not heard?
Why terminate such prosperity, whilst one can make $250,000 in two weeks? Visit the HoustonChronicle for more on this story.
Off-Duty Police Officer Executes Questionable Actions at the Use of Foul Language
A popular party spot in Friendswood was the scene of an intoxicated brawl and some very nasty manners. Stories conflict on this bit of journalistic literature. Visit Click2Houston for a High Definition Steady Camera recording of the incident.