January 17th, 2012

NEWScoop: Science Makes Drought Official, Slate Approaches Critical Density, State Rep Gets SexFaced, Kubiak to Go Pro Bowling, and Camaro Gains Sentience

Scientists Confirm What You Already Knew
If you were waiting on some data to back up the claims your parched lawn was making in 2011, you’ve got some. The map don’t lie. Judging by the abundance of deep maroon, “Exceptional Drought” blanket over the state of Texas, we broke the record that has stood since 1917. Houston managed its third driest and tied for the hottest year on record. Visit Off the Kuff for more.

Slate Author More Dense than Houston Development Regulations
Our love affair with the lack of Houston zoning laws is no secret. Well, Slate tried to call us out for perpetuating that myth. Houston Strategies would have none of it, however. The lack of zoning is alive and well in Houston, though certain parking regulations are cramping our style. Visit Houston Strategies for more.

Man Wants to Be All Over Alvarado
State Representative Carol Alvarado found herself a victim of technology when former HISD teacher, Jesse Alred, sent her lewd facebook messages. This is why old people shouldn’t be on facebook. Alred, 50 years young, should have gotten a lesson from his students. “Sexting” is all the rage. There’s no such thing as “SexFacing” (but maybe there should be?). Visit Chron.com for more.

Coaching Meaningless Game is Meaningful for Kubiak
Among the jokes that are the all-star games of professional sports, the Pro Bowl is the jokiest. In an attempt to make it seem more relevant, it’s now played during the week off between the Conference Championships and Super Bowl.  Because of the new NFL Pro Bowl scheduling, Coach Kubiak and his staff will be at the helm when the AFC squares off against the NFC. The Texans earned them the right by being the team with the best record in the AFC. No, we still won’t be watching. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.

Camaro Is Part of Family, Is Sentient, Will Hunt Down Rim Thieves for Energon
If you run an illegal chop shop in Houston, we’re warning you to keep a lookout for Bumblebee Winston Culpepper’s Camaro. It will be hunting you down. It will succeed. It will blot out your life force in favor of Energon. The Houston man found his car his pet his favorite family member violated in the parking lot of his apartment complex. Once it gets its wheels back all of Cybertron’s help won’t save you. Visit KHOU for more.

— Paul


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