February 13th, 2012

NEWScoop: Score Some WMDs, The Stupid Shuffle, Roosevelt vs. Quanell X, Girl Screws Boy and Line Cook Lovin’

Hey Man, You Wanna Score Some W.M.D.s? First Hit’s Free.
Extradition brings a Brit back to Texas, where he faces charges of attempting to sell missiles to Iran. Since the Iranians in question were actually undercover U.S. agents [CIA? FBI? ATF?] Doesn’t matter. The bloke plans to employ the ‘you caught me and that’s just nor fair’ defense, so he’s inevitably S.O.L.Visit Chron.com for more.

Psha, More Like Stupid Shuffle.
Employees and patrons of several H.E.B. stores united together Saturday morning in a publicity stunt flash mob dance to raise awareness for a huge sale on ground round American Heart month. Nothing says ‘healthy living’ like a gaggle of shoppers stepping it to the left, to the left, to the left, to the left between the pop tarts and the Captain Crunch. And yes, the overt sarcasm is due to raging jealousy that my Wednesday night shopping schedule excluded me from this little good cause shindig. Mid-week shoppers could use a little shuffle too.Visit Click2Houston for more.

Roosevelt vs. Quanell X… Who Ya Got!?
As the deteriorated race relations of Roosevelt continue to spiral downward in the news, everyone’s favorite activist is getting in on the fight. Protests were planned in front of the Washington Ave. nightclub, but they’re currently on hold as the owners hash out a meeting with the wouldbe picketers. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.

Boy Meets Girl, Girl Screws Boy
An escort skipped the fellatio and went straight for the felony when she robbed a potential client of more than $500. The victim, relegated to a wheelchair because of MS, called the call-girl for a good time only to find himself on the wrong side of the f*cking. It’s the age old tale of boy sees ad, boy calls service, girl skips service and screws boy in a completely different way. Visit Chron.com for more.

Love on the Line Cook
Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, so the obvious headline news should be the romance between unlikely parties. Good thing for us that Fox is on the case bringing us all the latest in a decades long courtship and marriage between Tracy Vaught and Hugo Ortega. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.

— The Loop Scoop

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