January 11th, 2012

NEWScoop: Snoop D O Double G, New Erection, Sunglasses at Night, a Macy’s Sale, and Vaginal Cream

Snoop D O Double G Found in El Paso’s “Drug Free” Zone
Last September it was Paul Wall and Baby Bash, now it’s Snoop. From what I understand, the zone lines are marked quite clearly. In any case, doesn’t the rap and hip hop scene have a network or warning system for this. Two joints in the bell tower, blue coats and all that? Paul Revere or Paul Wall? Sorry, history’s bad. Visit KHOU for more on this story.

Harris County Excited About New Erection
Somewhere in the Medical Center, a special piece of land is about to get CSI on crime. The county will erect a nine story Forensic Sciences building. I hope all nine stories are needed, otherwise you run the risk of becoming part of phallic jokes everywhere. We’ll leave that sort of infantile humor to lesser sites. Visit ABC13 for more on this story.

Men Wearing Sunglasses at Night Should be Approached with Caution
A man in Porter robbed a McDonald’s (I’m sorry Paul). He was described as wearing a hood and sunglasses inside, at night. If history’s taught us anything it’s to be weary of such characters, ie; Hank Williams Jr., the Blue Brothers, and poker players. They’re hiding something. Visit ABC13 for more on this story.

Macy’s Closes Earlier, Customers Miss Out On “Going Out of Business” Sale
A tornado touched down outside Mall of the Mainland. The incident has left mall goers with more big questions unanswered than the series finale of LOST. That mall’s Macy’s was having a huge “going out of business” sale at the time. Will they continue the sale in the midst of the mall closure? Will they simply close down indefinitely? That merch won’t sell itself. Visit KHOU for more on this story.

Vaginal Cream On My What?
The vaginal cream for hair repair wave is hitting Houston like a yeast infection after nookie on a camping trip. “Doctors” are saying there are no harmful side effects that they can think of. Theoretically it could work. They site other examples of medicines being manufactured for one thing and then being used for something drastically different. Visit MyFoxHouston for more on this story.

— The Loop Scoop

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