February 1st, 2012
NEWScoop: Students Take Ex-Laxtasy, Purloined Pads, Defender Finds Home Squatted, IOUs to be Paid ASAP and Bring a Gun to a Crowbar Fight
This Ecstasy Tastes Like Ex-Lax
A dozen students at Cleveland High School were taken ill shortly after lunch. And for once, it wasn’t due to the Manwich Monday special in the cafeteria. The teens showed signs of an overdose after partaking of some mystery pills brought in by a fellow student. Come on, kiddos, Just Say No. Don’t make us start re-airing those freaky anti-drug commercials from the 80s. So help me, we’ll do it. Visit Chron.com for more.
The Purloined Pads
I was sure I packed my iPad. But here we are, at our final destination and this suitcase is undeniably sans my handy Apple tablet. What if some duplicitous TSA agent swiped it at the airport! Maybe he’s got an acute Angry Birds addiction and the tempting sight of my digital lifeline was just too much to resist? Maybe someday he’ll be caught and face the wrath of the Angry Travelers he blindly ripped off. Maybe justice will find its way to his sticky fingers… Nah. I probably just left it on the charger at home. Who would dare to swipe an iPad? Some things are sacred. Visit KHOU for more.
Defending the Land of the Free Stuff and Home of the Squatters
When Sam Burbank, the Iraqi War veteran, signed up for the service, I’m pretty sure he didn’t do it to fight for the rights of drug addicts. But when he was deployed to Fort Hood, two junky squatters took over his residence and sold his belongings for more smack. What a smack in the face… Visit KHOU for more.
Houston Wants IOUs Paid ASAP
With all the controversy surrounding the red light cameras, one little fact remained brushed under the rug: Houston wants its damn money, yo. The city claims that they are owed millions in fines and fees from red light runners. How much? $27 Million dollars are outstanding from the coffers. That’s 27 million double cheeseburgers at McDonald’s… roughly half of what Paul has eaten in his lifetime. Visit Click2Houston for more.
Bring a Gun to a Crowbar Fight
Two FedEx employees found themselves in a brouhaha in which one pulled out a crowbar and the other flashed his piece. Details are still hazy, but our guess is that they were probably arguing over the difference between two and three day shipping charges. Happens to us every time. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.