December 7th, 2011

NEWSoop: Houston Goes Retro, Octogenarian Defends, Pessimism Nearly Kills, a Green Christmas Comes, and Mouths Write Checks

Houston Goes Retro with Library of “Books” Opening
Not so long ago, people used to do things like “read” by picking up something called a “book.” Sometimes, there were these large collections of books all in one place. I know what you’re thinking. I’m not talking about Barnes and Noble. Cities sponsored some of these collections and they didn’t come with a Starbucks in the corner AND the “books” were free. They were called “libraries” and Houston has just restored and reopened one downtown. If anything, this finally explains and validates your father’s sexy librarian fetish.┬áVisit MyFoxHouston for more.

Oct0genarian Fights Fire with Fire
This Houstonian was not about to let fake fire marshals rob her of her possessions or her dignity for that matter. She brought the fight to them, running them down with the tool most commonly associated with fireman, just behind the hose of course; the hatchet. Wait a second, tools, fireman, don’t read into that. Visit KHOU for more.

Help is Help is Help?
Down in southeast Houston, a hit and run took place. “Well, TLS, that’s nothing special. Those are as frequent as Sheila Jackson Lee’s verbal missteps. How’s this different?” The suspect, in this case, hit the victim. Rather than help the poor lad’s physical injuries, she tended to those of the spiritual nature. She gave him a religious document to prepare him for the last great adventure; death. She’s clearly not an optimist…Visit KHOU for more.

It’s a Green Christmas for FPD
It’s one thing to issue a ticket for a noise complaint, that beats a more dangerous assignment any night of the week. It’s quite another to come upon a party with beer and marijuana. The icing on this proverbial Christmas cake, issuing multiple citations to 27 minors and arresting the adult hosting this vulgar crowd. Someone’s meeting their quota this month… Visit KHOU for more.

Don’t Let Your Mouth Write Checks Your Body Can’t Cash
One teen in Baytown has been slapped on the wrist after apparently making a bomb threat to Texas A&M University. Kids, keep your noses clean and wash behind your ears. This youngster’s parents nearly had a $10,000 fine thrown on them. Stupid… Visit KHOU for more.

— The Loop Scoop

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