October 18th, 2010

Quitting Smoking: A Training Journal (T-Minus 1 Week)

Everyone knows how hard it is to quit smoking. Even as a non-smoker, you see enough propaganda each day to remind you. Then again, none of you seem to understand what a pain it is. You un-empathetic suckers. “Oh, it should be easy. Just don’t buy any. Just stop. You’re such a baby. YOU WEAK, PATHETIC, EXCUSE FOR A MAN!!!” At least that’s what it sounds like it my head. Weak? Maybe. Pathetic? Probably. Excuse for a man? I’ll give you something to smoke, suckah.

So, here it is. My Attempt to quit smoking. Each week I’ll update you of my previous week’s “score” in attempt to keep myself honest and you informed and maybe, just maybe, inspire a Loopster or two to try to kick the habit. Laugh it up while you can as I continually fall on my face in my attempt to sever my addiction.

Day T-Minus 6 (Monday)
I might as well just start today… right? WRONG! I’m going to smoke twice as many today just to prove that I can quit in seven days time. Perfectly logical. Oh yeah, non-smoker, tomorrow’s always the perfect day to quit. Well, I have six tomorrows to go. What do you think about that?
Dalliance Count: 16

Day T-Minus 5 (Tuesday)
Two days removed from ACL, where I had free reign to smoke whenever I wanted, I am finding I’m smoking more back on my regular work schedule. My easiest excuse to walk away from my computer is my cigarette break.
Dalliance Count: 21

Day T-Minus 4 (Wednesday)
Why do these cigarettes not taste good to me? That was my favorite part about smoking: The taste. Now what am I left with? The rebellious notion of smoking. “You can’t hold me down, man,” doesn’t have quite the ring to it that it did when I was 19. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still smoking the heck out of these cancer sticks anytime I get the chance.
Dalliance Count: 18


Day T-Minus 3 (Thursday)
Kickball day. Gotta stop smoking for optimum performance. Wait, we got knocked out of the playoffs last week. Smoke away! Well, actually a study/writing engagement actually keeps me from a night of indulgence. Why must I cater to your clean ways of life?
Dalliance Count: 13

Day T-Minus 2 (Friday)
After the Stay Up book release, I head out to the bar to meet my sister. She hates my smoking ways. Even more reason to do it. I manage to make it two hours into drinking without lighting up. This is good. The look on my sister’s face? Worst thing I’ve ever seen. I got her!
Dalliance Count: 19

Day T-Minus 1 (Saturday)
Do you know what’s not good for my attempt at quitting smoking? The Cougars being embarrassed by Rice University. For every point we lose by that’s two extra cigarettes I need in my system. Luckily we only lost by three. Trying to be better at the bar later on runs into a bit of a dramatic road block. Best justification for a smoke-break escape is drama. “Oh, no, he di’n't.” Oh yes, I did.
Dalliance Count: 15

Day T-Minus 0 (Sunday)
Oh, geez. “Tomorrow” really is tomorrow. Does that mean… oh shit. I guess that means I better scale it back a little. Ummmmm, I haven’t even thought about what I need to do. Buy some Nicorette maybe? Perhaps I need to grab a can of Skoal… You know, trade one tobacco addiction for another. That works, right?
Dalliance Count: 9

— Paul


laanba — Monday, October 18, 2010 8:56 pm

Good luck Paul! I’m not going to say anything trite because I as a non-smoker I really do understand that, well, I don’t understand what it is like. But I can be a cheerleader. You can do it!

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