December 5th, 2011
Rants from the Rat-Race: Fun Size
Today a woman named Debbie brought a bowl of Snickers and left it in the break room for everyone to enjoy. She calls them “candies”, with an “s”, which is very irritating. But it is difficult sometimes to call out middle-aged women who own parakeets. I grabbed one of them and examined the wrapper.
Also irritating. It seems to me that if something is considered delicious, the most fun or exciting size of that thing should be very big. I popped the little nugget into my mouth to test the theory. Sweet. Salty. Delicious. But then it was gone, and I was sad. Really sad.
Any pleasure that I had gotten from chewing through the succulent combination of chocolate, caramel and peanuts was fleeting in every sense. In fact, I will go as far as to say that after eating it, I was having even less fun than I was before noticing the “candies”. Which wasn’t much to begin with.
More like “Sadness Size”.
God I hate Debbie…and her “candies”.