August 19th, 2011
Save the Date: Number One Stunner
When we left off last time in the dramatic saga of the dating life of X, she had just been unceremoniously dumped by the Kid. Well, about 5 minutes after that stunner of a call, she decided to text Mystery Man.
Some background: I had met this guy over a year ago, we had a great date, then…nothing. 6 months later another date and an amazing kiss and again…nothing. What gives? Date three happened shortly before the Kid. Also great, also silence again. You’re thinking exactly what I did. Why keep going out with a guy who seems to show absolutely no continual interest. Answer: boredom. The dates were always great so why not get out and enjoy myself when he did materialize?
Which is exactly why I reached out again that night. Why not? Worst thing that could happen is that he wouldn’t answer. Not so devastating, and nothing can be worse than the phone call I had just endured. On the contrary…we went out that Saturday.
I’m not very good at the whole ‘feelings’ thing – talking about them or expressing them. I take the careful road of wait and see, watching the guy to see if I can trust him enough to open up. Hey, with the dating life I’ve had, cautious seems to be the better path. Trust me, if I told you my whole dating history you’d think I was making it up. I only wish that was the case. But I digress…
So we’re sitting at Poison Girl, beer in hand (that apparently scored points for me) and I finally had enough liquid courage to teasing ask why there had been such a long time between dates when we obviously seemed to have a connection. The answer floored me. I was the ‘Ice Queen’. He had no idea that I liked him, so he didn’t put too much effort into seeing me more often. Well, you can’t blame him. No one wants to chase the person with a laissez faire attitude – it almost guarantees rejection.
I’ve heard before from guy friends that I’m intimidating. Ha! Apparently it’s a mix of my gaze and the way I carry myself. I’ve spent hours walking back and forth in front of a mirror and can’t figure out what they’re talking about. If you know me, you know that’s the furthest from the truth. Admittedly I’m even a bit shy and uneasy around a guy, which also comes across as cold. Sigh.
When I heard those words come from a guy that I had genuine interest in, I was grateful he had the courage to be completely honest. Score points for him in the trust department. All it took to change his mind was a smile and me telling him that I did like him, and after that you could feel a change in him. He no longer gave off the impression that he was nervous around me and it seemed like we actually started to connect. This guy gets awesomer and awesomer the more time I spend with him. And yes. Awesomer.
Life lesson learned on my part. I had always thought I was great at making sure that my past dating experiences wouldn’t affect the next date, but it unknowingly did. I assume no guy wants a girl to throw herself at him and express undying devotion on the first date, but it seems like a direct signal that you like him is appreciated. Point taken.