August 26th, 2011
Save the Date: Path of Least Resistance
I was lamenting to a guy friend about my recent dating woes. I’m convinced that every girl needs one guy friend (not gay) who can shed some honest insight into the goings on inside the male brain. Us girls can make up tons of excuses as to why a guy did this or said that but let’s be real. As much as we think we do we have absolutely no idea. He made two very good points.
Guys will take the path of least resistance when it comes to getting in a girl’s pants. They will exert the minimal amount of time, effort, and thought in order to seek the “reward.” Human nature, and we as women know this. Gone are the days of chivalry and courting. If a girl doesn’t put out there’s probably one right around the corner who will. Who’s fault is this? Women. Yep. I said it. We are our own worst enemy when it comes to dating. If the majority of women will succumb so quickly to “let’s go to my place” after a few drinks, how can we blame men for this behavior? This does not, however, mean that we should all literally roll over, and men should not be surprised by the word no. No matter much we as women have screwed ourselves, men still need to respect us as more than objects.
A dreadful thought and pathetic existence, but he did redeem men by saying that it is still the man’s responsibility to be the pursuer. This may sound counter-intuitive, but if you think about it we all still have primal tendencies etched in our evolution. Men hunt. That’s their job. If a woman throws herself at a man, sure he’ll take the bait, but it’s almost a guarantee that he will soon get bored and find a new shiny ball to chase. Ladies, if you find a man who actually still subscribes to the rules of courting you’ve found a rare one. And I have no sympathy for you if you complain.
The other point he made was more of a revelation. Females need to take it down three levels, and men need to think three levels above their norm. What does this mean?
An example: Ladies, if your man randomly gives you flowers, be grateful he thought far enough in advance to make the effort. Most men live in the present and aren’t very good at forethought. If you bitch that he didn’t get you your favorite lilies you’re an idiot. You’ve also probably turned him off from ever doing something nice for you for no reason again. Think about it, would you continue to do something for someone who just complains about your efforts? Nagging and whining are extremely unattractive.
Men, here’s your example: Let’s say your girl gets silent and pouty because you’d rather spend Friday night playing video games instead of going out to meet her friends for drinks. You don’t think it’s a big deal because you’re exhausted from the week and the thought of a gaggle of chatty girls doesn’t seem fun. To her you don’t want to spend time with her and join her on what she has probably built up in her head as a very important event. How could video games be more entertaining than her? Don’t you want to have sex tonight?! Does it make sense to you? No. But it sounds perfectly logical to us. And if the words “it’s not a big deal” dare escape your mouth, be prepared for possible wrath. It’s not a big deal to you, but whatever she’s pissy about is obviously a big deal to her. The worst thing you can do as a man is tell us our feelings don’t matter. We are way more emotional creatures than you are.
Drama can be minimized all around if women stop expecting the knight in shining armor dream and men stop thinking we make too much of a big deal out of “simple/stupid” things. Just saying.