April 1st, 2011
Save the Date: Shady Go Lightly
Let’s be honest. Dating blows. You devote so much time and effort into getting to know someone and most of the time it doesn’t work out. There’s something off, so you move on. Now, this is easy when the investment is minimal.
Take for instance, “Shady.” From the first time I met him something seemed, not…right. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but the bs level felt rather high. I mean, please tell me how many energy traders leave work every day before the market closes? Or the fact that he kept promising to take me to dinner at some of the hottest restaurants in town, but we managed to end up splitting a pizza at Collina’s. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but the promise to fulfillment level left much to be desired. Also, you can’t impress me by promising to wisk me off to South Beach for the weekend. Before I’m going to spend any extended period of time with you, I have to be sure I’m not going to be bored to tears. Needless to say he was an easy one to say goodbye to.
But what about the one who doesn’t suck? The one who you strangely just click with? Several months ago I thought I had found the perfect guy. Not that he was perfect in any way, but he was perfect for me. Our compatibility spot on. The kind that eHarmony only wishes they could provide. It was the fairytale mix of physical and emotional chemistry that makes you incredibly annoying to all of your girlfriends. There was even a tenderness that he tried to hide, but failed miserably at. I think I understood him better than he thought I did. After four months of awesomeness …it…just…ended. The reason? He was moving. But wait. A few months later plans changed. The job fell through and he didn’t end up moving. But we didn’t start up where we left off. Instead, every few weeks or so I get a text message. Checking in. WTF? The one relationship in awhile I didn’t want to say goodbye to is now in this strange limbo. Ok, who am I kidding. I could live in this fantasy world where one day he’ll come knocking on my door, profess his undying love, and we’ll ride off into the sunset like a sappy Rom-Com. Instead, every time I think I’m over him one of those text messages appears and everything comes flooding back. I want to hate him for it but I can’t.
Can we just be “friends”? Of course, when there’s a guy I’m not that into it’s easy to slip into friendship mode. Is this what happened with him? He wasn’t really all that into me? That look in his eyes for those four months was just a figment of my imagination? The times I’ve seen him after, only one thing runs through my mind. What if. And that completely sucks. It’s easy to be over him until I see him. Even though this is the fourth largest city in the country, I can’t seem to not run into him. However, thankfully facebook status updates have given me the opportunity to change plans so I’m not chugging beer on the opposite side of the bar, hoping he doesn’t see me.
I can claim to know all the answers but I don’t. A recent “fan” called me a man hater. Please. I’m just like every other single person in this city. Trying to figure out the opposite sex and failing miserably at it. So I open myself up to the world with my “insights” into dating. Hoping to make those in similar situations laugh and most importantly, not give up. So this one isn’t funny or sarcastic, but I felt my readers needed to see a different side of me for once. These past few weeks have given me a slightly different outlook on life. A literal knock on the head, per se. Don’t worry, next time I’ll be back to my old cynical self.