June 10th, 2011

Save the Date: The Dude is a Kid

If you’ve been reading my stuff consistently, you may think that I have a penchant for dating douchebags. Well, you’re right, but it’s not by choice. I mean, I don’t seek out the douches of the world with grand hopes of changing them. Some of them are harder to spot than you’d think. There are more Bentley’s out there in the world than I’d like to admit. But there are times where I actually meet someone who doesn’t suck.

For example, there was this guy who picked up the phone and asked me on a date instead of using a series of text messages. And not just the thinly veiled ‘let’s go out and see how much I can get you drunk and try and get some play’. He actually had a plan on what time he was going to pick me up and the restaurant we were going to. Halfway through the date he told me he was enjoying my company and that we should check out a wine bar I had spoken of previously. So not only was I spared the ‘what do you want to do…I don’t know, what do you want to do’ ridiculousness, but he really listened to me and retained the information. When I mentioned that I was impressed with his action plan he seemed surprised. It’s hard to explain to a guy who gets it just how many men don’t. Guys, there’s something incredibly sexy about a man with a plan. It makes us think you cared enough about us to have forethought.

Then there was the guy who literally rescued me. As in picked me up and carried me to safety. Yeah I know. Pretty awesome. As stubbornly independent as I am, it melted my heart. It might have been the fact that I was still feeling lightheaded from the event that caused the rescue, but I swear I heard cheesy Disney music being sung by birds and cute talking mice. Nothing sexier than a guy who turns into the knight in shining armor just when a girl needs it the most.

There’s also the guy who is incapable of BS. Instead of cheesy text messages asking me what kind of panties I’m wearing I got, “I really enjoyed seeing you yesterday and I can’t wait to see you on Friday.” He’s not worried about what line is going to impress me, which is more impressive than the smooth talking that’s more common. There’s no need for him to act any other way than the person he really is, and that’s refreshing. Our intelligent conversations are peppered with laughs and Big Lebowski references. Anyone who understands the importance of The Dude’s existence in relation to the norms of our society is…just…awesome. I know more about him in two weeks than the guy I ‘dated’ for four months last year.

But wait. These aren’t guys. It’s guy. Singular. Even more shocking, he’s a kid. Ok, not really, but he is six years younger than I and has already outdone supposedly ‘mature’ guys who were ten years older. Which proves that age ain’t nothing but a number when it comes to maturity. There are actually things I admire about him besides the sexy vibe he doesn’t realize he emanates. And so I sit here thinking ‘what the hell?!’ The Kid is wearing me down.

I guess that’s the way the whole durned human comedy keeps perpetuatin’ itself.

— X


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