November 12th, 2010

Save the Date: Your Wall is Showing

Facebook is destructive. Ok, that sentence does need a qualifier. Facebook is destructive when unmasking stupidity. Among all of the bland profile posts, every once in awhile you find something a bit, well, different. Especially when you’re dating someone.

Hey genius, I CAN SEE YOUR WALL! Facebook was how I once found out a boyfriend I was living with was cheating on me. You’d think he’d be smart enough to either not friend his conquests, or carefully monitor any posts from these girls. So, imagine my surprise when some hot little blonde posted something along the lines of “Hey baby when do you get back from Brasil, I miss you”.

There was absolutely nothing about her post that I could have misconstrued. So, I curiously clicked on her name. Open profile. Reading comments he had posted on her wall made me physically ill. Needless to say that relationship ended the second I flushed the toilet. Both literally and figuratively.

Since then I have made it a habit not to be the psycho Facebook stalker. Can’t blame the next guy for the previous’ stupidity, right? And I’m dating more intelligent men…at least I think. At what point in the dating game can you calmly ask a guy to stop flirting with girls on Facebook?

I make it a point to think through everything I post. If I’m not in an exclusive relationship with someone there is no way I’m going to be flirty all over a public forum. Yes, even with your privacy settings, Facebook is public. You friended me. I can see your wall. Yes, I am well aware that I am repeating myself, but apparently it needs to be repeated.

The whole idea of The Golden Rule goes through my mind. Watching a guy cyber flirt with another girl is just as painful as watching him do it in person. So, by default, I’m not going to do it. Common sense: Not everyone has it, apparently.

I suppose there is a “rational” explanation for such behavior, although I can’t think of a single one. What I can think of is the fact that Facebook flirting with one person while dating someone else is probably not a smart idea. I’d like to think it happens only because the person is completely clueless and not actually hateful. I’m not the jealous type, so I can’t even imagine what kind of crazy is unleashed when this happens to someone who is.

For those of you who are jealous, I’m not talking about someone simply talking to a person of the opposite sex. If that’s what you’re thinking, you need a lesson on crazy. I’m talking about blatant flirting. Any use of pet names, winky smiley faces, or sexual references are pretty much off limits if you are in the least bit concerned about the feelings of the person you are dating. Or if you want to get laid tonight.

So, for all you Facebook fiends out there, ponder before you post. You never know who may stumble across it. And feel free to share any experiences you’ve had. I really hope I’m not the only one who’s experienced this level of stupidity.

— X


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