January 24th, 2012

NEWScoop: Not Cop Arrested, Crack Gets Advert, Fishing the Big Ones, Copper Thievery Done Wrong and Astros Change Name, Perhaps Sport

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Bachelorette Party
It just doesn’t pay to be a male stripper anymore. You better retire the cop costume because there aren’t any “bad, bad girls” to punish in Houston. A man was arrested for impersonating an officer. Take a look at that mugshot, who wouldn’t want that dude at their sexy party. Visit Chron.com for more.

Sex Sells, But Drugs Sell Better
Discretion? Who needs it. Not the drug peddlers. If there’s anything I’ve learned from massive volumes of TV lately, being a drug dealer is the best. None went to the great lengths of mass publicity like our folks in Houston, though. Telephone poles aren’t just for “missing puppy” notices anymore. Visit Chron.com for more.

Drought = More Fish Per Drop?
Somebody better call Tea Jones, them fish are bitin’ down thereparts. The drought took its toll on our water levels, but with Lake Houston almost back to full strength, the fish are coming back stronger than ever. Grab the kids and get to casting. Visit MyFoxHouston for more.

Thieves Must Get Right with God: Go for Silver Not Copper
Copper thieving is all the rage, and there’s at least one hot spot in town: Greater New Grove Christian Worship Center. The church has been struck twice by copper bandits. Maybe they need to sit down for a lesson next Sunday because they’re doing the wrong wrong. The Bible says 30 pieces of silver, not copper. Visit KHOU for more.

New Owner, New Division… Why Not a New Name?
There’s no reason to stop now. The Houston Astros are practically unrecognizable going into the 2012 season. Why not go for a change in name as well? Screw the new uniforms with an old name. Hell, I’m going to start lobbying that the (soon to be not) Astros just change the sport they’re playing as well. Houston’s first professional cricket team is on the horizon. Visit KHOU for more.

— Paul

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August 30th, 2011

Outdoor Journal: Catfish Crazy on Lake Houston

A lot of anglers use that “I find God in the serenity of nature when I’m out on the lake” mantra in order to hit the water on a Sunday morning. Maybe that’s true if you’re on a picturesque creek in Montana flicking flies at brown trout while bear cubs scurry about, but the only thing present on a shrinking Texas reservoir in mid-August are Satan himself and the mentally deranged. And hopefully- catfish.

Read the full Scoop »

— Tea Jones

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August 16th, 2011

NEWScoop: Skeptics, Hamstrings, Rankings, and Snobbery

Liberals Wield Global Warming Powers, it’s Still Hot in Texas
Another week of triple digit temperatures has Texans suspicious of the dome that supposedly rests over the state. Rumors are swirling that until Gov. Perry rescinds his bid for the Republican Presidential Candidacy, the structure will remain. Visit KHOU for more on this story.

Conroe Releases itself into Houston, Houston No Longer Pure
Droughts are depleting water levels. In this case, those of Lake Houston, which in turn affects the ability to purify its water. Visit KHOU for more on this story.

Chris Ogbonnaya, The Hamstring King of Houston
Texans win their season opener against the Jets. Ogbonnaya’s hamstrings deserve a reward for being the only uninjured set on the running back roster. After Schaub was replaced, Lienart gained more yardage in one down than Schaub did in a quarter. Kubiak seemed pleased with Wade Phillips’ new approach to the Texans defense. Here’s to making us forget the baseball season. Visit KHOU for more on this story.

Houston’s Rank: Where It Stands, Not the Smell
Nothing more than to leave it to the pros on this one. They’ve done all the leg work. Houston Strategies did the compilation. We’re all about that final “to the unwitting consumer” step of the process. Visit HoustonStrategies for more on this story.

Rich Boys Only in Rice Village; Po’ Boys Need Not Apply
It’s a good thing that you can still buy Antone’s subs at Kroger because that’s about the only place you’ll be able to at this point. They’re priced out of Rice Village according to Swamplot. Visit SwampLot for more on this story.

Paul / Richard / Zach

— The Loop Scoop

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