October 21st, 2010

The Procrastinator’s Plan 10.21.10

Why does writing have to be so difficult? Not only do I have to think of topics, but then I have to form those thoughts into complete sentences. That’s a lot of work when I could just veg out in front of the TV, which is usually what I find myself doing before I peel myself off of the couch to start this damn column. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that I’m a lot dumber now than I was when I was younger. I used to watch Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader, but it got too depressing when it became blatantly obvious that I wasn’t. These days, I actually shy away from any sort of activity that might involve neural activity and I spend most of my time trying to figure out ways to keep myself from utilizing my brain, unless it’s as a hammer. It takes a lot of effort to be stupid, but I’m doing my best. I honestly think that Mike Judge’s take on society in the movie Idiocracy (great movie because it’s stupid) is a lot closer to fruition than most people will admit. I, for one, am doing my part to dumb down our society as much as I can. I just love watching people get hit in the balls.

What I like about Texas
If the work week has got you down and you need to spend your Friday night sipping on a corona con lima, check out Gary P. Nunn at Blanco’s. Nunn, a progenitor of the Texas Country sound, is probably best known for his “London Homesick Blues,” which has been covered by a number of artists and served as the theme song of Austin City Limits for more than two decades. He’s promoting his new album, Taking Texas to the Country, so make sure you pick up a copy while you enjoy a Lonestar or two.

With a Name Like Ziegen, it’s got to be good
If you can look past the fact that Ziegenbock is a crap beer that was just created to tear market share away from local favorite Shiner by none other than the big daddy of them all, Anny Busch; then head over to Sam Houston Race Park for the 8th Annual Ziegenbock Music Festival. One of the perks of being a multimillion dollar conglomerate is that you can spend quite a bit of dough financing the careers of musicians to pimp your product at their concerts. Never mind the fact that they’d prefer to get smashed on whiskey and weed, they’ll gleefully get on stage in front of a backdrop of your logo and cop to quaffing enough liquid piss to kill a horse. It’s not that I blame them. If Budweiser would pay me money to drink their crap, I would gladly profess my love for Bud Lite Lime every week in the Procrastinator’s Plan. As a matter of fact, I’m going to start now: **This week, while I’m lounging with a host of lovely ladies (obligatory beer commercial reference) and getting my procrastinatin’ on, I’ll be bathing myself in a shower of Bud Lite Lime. The taste of citrus in my beer, usually reserved to cover up skunky corona flavor, is so crisp and refreshing that I can’t get enough.** I’ve done my part, so I guess the check’s in the mail? Now back to our regularly scheduled procrastination… Ziegenbock is presenting 16 Red Dirt/Texas Country Bands over Saturday and Sunday. Local boys made good, The Eli Young Band will headline Saturday with Gary Allan topping the bill on Sunday. The acts are pretty well spread out over the two days. Hayes Carll will probably be the highlight of Saturday while Roger Creager and The Randy Rogers Band will be tough to top on Sunday. Just in case this turns into Woodstock III, you can find a survival guide here.

Procrastinator’s Plan be the Flower – Your Lack of Planning the Serpent Underneath
Does that even make sense? Work with it. If Pre-Halloween and Halloween parties, Trick-or-Treating and pumpkin carving are not to your fancy—may I offer another solution? How’s about the theater? It happens that the University of St. Thomas is presenting Willy Shakespeare’s MacBeth. Hell, technically it’s not even procrastinating, since this production runs through November 6th. That gives you just over two weeks to get to Jones Theater (upstairs) at 3910 Yoakum (Not this Yoakum) and experience the worst sort of humanity.  Besides, the evil in man is far creepier than anything science-fiction or fantasy can conjure up.

You’re Tearing me Apart, Lisa
If you’ve never experienced the genius that is Tommy Wiseau, you are definitely missing out. A modern filmmaker with “the passion of Tennessee Williams” and the acting ability and accent of the Ahnuld, his incredibly bad film, The Room, is the midnight feature at the River Oaks Theater this weekend. Labeled a Black Comedy by the clueless writer, director and star, this emotional tour de farce will keep you rolling in the aisles as you marvel at how someone could act so badly and still manage to get the funds to complete a movie. Just be careful not to snort your soda through your nose during the “Oh, Hi Marc” scene.  It really burns and the person in front of you won’t be too happy with you.

— The Loop Scoop


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