October 7th, 2010

The Procrastinator’s Plan 10.7.10

The worst thing about a vacation is that you have to come home. I’ve been in a crappy mood all week and I finally realized it’s because I’m not sitting by a lake, sipping screwdrivers at golf resort.  I’m of the opinion that once you find something you love, you should do it.  I have decided that I love vacationing.  Unfortunately, my bank account doesn’t.  After careful reflection, I have come to the conclusion that I should redirect my anger at my parents for not winning the lottery before I was born.  Yes, they hit it once when they had me, but that doesn’t help ME!  If they were billionaires, I could have grown up privileged. Then I could have spent my days hopped up on drugs, sporting cool flashing ankle bracelet and flashing everyone my goods. Basically anything but working to earn a dollar and the world would be a better place, for me at least.  As a spoiled brat, I’d probably make it worse for everyone that I came in contact with, but them’s the breaks, right?

As a result of this, I’ve made a promise to myself that my kids will have the freedom to “make it rain” at the most elite strip clubs, be able to hire the most expensive lawyers to get them out of any troubles and won’t have to work a day in their lives. I think that should qualify me for the best parent of the year award.  What do you think?  Anyone want to donate to that fund?

Not All There
I like movies about crazy people, especially if they are set in the looney bin.  It reminds me of my time there.  Ah, the electroshock therapy was so comforting and the pudding was the absolute best.  I like to think that my nervous ticks are just “aftershocks.”  Recently, I saw the trailer for It’s Kind of A Funny Story and it reminded me of when I  was a crazy before I put all that behind me.  Opening this weekend, I’ve made plans to go see it.  I’m officially in Zach Galifiniakis’ wolfpack, so that’s a no brainer right there, but it looks like a good movie.  You know, the kind they don’t make in Hollywood anymore.  It’s playing at theaters all over Houston and you can find show times here.  Trust me, you don’t have to be a crazy to laugh at them.  The Procrastinator says it’s alright.

Play Something We Know
I’ve always thought that if I was handsome enough or had an ounce of musical talent, I would love to be a musician. Luckily for me, Wes Hayden, he of the Bachelor and one fifteen second sound byte, has proved that those requirements are null and void if you can get on a reality TV show. Hmmm. Here goes nothing. Do you think I could get on Big Brother? It’s got to be the reality show that requires the least amount of talent or intelligence. Why does this matter, you ask? Because this weekend, the Firehouse is giving us the chance to see two headliners, Adam Hood on Friday night or Wes Hayden on Saturday, who are a study of contrasts. Adam has been touring around, promoting his independently released albums for a few years now. Wes was cast on a season of the Bachelor and used the opportunity to sing his one song over and over. A big thank you to Joe McHale for keeping me up to date on all the Reality Show happenings with Talk Soup. I get all the best moments and biting commentary without sitting through the entire mind numbing episode. I can literally feel my brain shrinking if it’s on TV! Anyway, enough with the diatribe against Reality TV. I’m a big fan of Adam Hood’s music. He’s got a great voice and an easy going sound, which means he probably doesn’t have much of a chance because he isn’t a fame whore and he hasn’t sold his soul to get on TV. It’s a sad world we live in. If you make it out to the Firehouse on Friday, tell’em The Loop Scoop sent you. If you head out there on Saturday, please pretend you’ve never heard of us.

I’m Looking for Myself
My sense of direction isn’t great. It’s definitely better than my girlfriend’s, but I’ll admit that I get turned around every once and a while. Especially in malls. I hate those places. The one thing that I have learned from decades of male repression is that it is never acceptable to to ask for directions. That’s why we carry maps (or own a GPS.) If you love maps as much as the next red-blooded American male, head over to the Houston Center for Photography and check out their featured exhibit: Created and Found Maps – Exploration of Self and World. It’s a unique exhibition that explores the way artists are using mapping as a means of exploring both our interior, private world as well as the external, political world. Now let’s get one thing straight: after the decades of repressed feelings and emotions, I’m not on any sort of journey. I don’t need to explore any interior, private worlds. I just like pictures of maps.

The OS and the BCAF
The Bayou City Arts Festival is upon us once again this Saturday and Sunday in Downtown! With the festival going on from 10a.m. to 8 p.m. and 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Sunday, there’s really no need for the other events on this Procrastinator’s PlanMarc, Paul and Stephan, you can withhold your additions.  It’s done.  Look for artists, the sale of their creations, and delicious foods from some pretty knowledgeable chefs throughout Downtown this weekend. If simply attending the festival doesn’t satiate your festivities palette, you might think of volunteering with the Houston Orange Show. The shifts are flexible and as short as four hours, so there’ll be ample time to “fest” it up. Relax now, you’ll need it.

— The Loop Scoop

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