March 12th, 2010

The Procrastinator’s Plan 3.12.10

Friends. Everybody loves them. They even had a nice run on TV. But if you ever really stop to think about it, your friends are weird, and they like weird shit that you don’t. It doesn’t end there, they always call and try to get you to do the weird shit with them. This week’s Procrastinator’s Plan pays homage to all the stuff that my friends do that I think is weird. Oh, and if you like to do this stuff, then you’re probably weird, too. Of course, you’ll probably think that spending my weekend dressed up as a Furry is weird, so don’t take it personally. To each, their own… right?

Is That a Camera In Your Pants or Are You Just Happy to See Me?
(alternate heading: Are You the Right Kind of Woman for It?)

It seems that everyone is an amateur photographer these days. Everyone except for me, that is. I keep trying to convince my girlfriend that I am accomplished enough to take some “artistic” shots of her, but I’m not having any luck. It’s probably because my lens isn’t big enough. Oh well, I probably wouldn’t know what to do with it even if it was. Instead, I’ll just have to settle for accompanying some of my photog friends to FotoFest2010 to see how the professionals do it. The opening reception, which takes place tonight from 8PM to Midnight at Vine Street Studios, (1113 Vine St.) is free to the public. There will be food and music by the Gourds to go along with your gin and juice. The reception will be highlighted by the opening of the exhibit: Whatever was Splendid: New American Photographs, FotoFest2010 will run until April 25th, so you can be sure that your friends will be exposing you to many of the different exhibits, talks, workshops and host of other events that will be included in FotoFest.

Check out any number of galleries this weekend. From Lanwndale Art Center to the Xnihilo Gallery, everybody seems to be having something going on.

A good friend’s facebook status actually turned me on to the 19th Annual Mariachi Invitational,which will be held at the Verizon Wireless Theater on Saturday will play host to the 19th Annual Mariachi Invitational. It’s all part of the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo and we know how much everyone around here loves rodeo season. Six mariachi bands will vie for the title of  Mariachiest Band Ever. Actually, that’s not true at all. The top two groups from Saturday will go on to play at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo on Tejano Day. Go out and give these guys a shot at the big time. Tickets are $22.50 or $32.50 depending on the depth of your wallet. You can buy tickets through (that’s a link the the specific flyer). Come on, we know you love going to El Patio and Club No Minor. Think of the weird fun you could have during hours of mariachi performances. Show starts at 6:30PM.

Let’s Do the Time Warp Again
My first ever trip to River Oaks Theater was as a freshman in college when a friend convinced me to see a midnight movie. At 12:00AM, Central Standard Time, I was initiated into the cult that is the Rocky Horror Picture Show. There was nothing that could have prepared me for what was happening. Rowdy audience members and an even rowdier cast of shadow actors lip-synced (or just recited and sang) every word in the production. What was this phenomenon? Thank goodness I was the “virgin sacrifice” before the show began. Without that I would have been completely out of the loop.

You’re in luck. Tomorrow, March 13th, 2010, The Rocky Picture Show and its loyal followers will be at River Oaks Theater. If you don’t have a “weird” friend like I did to take you out there, step up and step into the role. Bring your friends… many of them. They may not believe you when you come back with stories. Cross-dressing, cult followings are the best for story hour.

Get into the spirit and brush up on your Time Warp skills. Here’s a handy “how to” just in case you have forgotten the steps.

Top of the Mornin’ To Ya
You know what’s really, really weird? St. Patrick’s Day. Wearing green? Weird. Leprechauns? Weird. Pretending to be Irish? Weird (unless you’re trying to tap into your inner-James Joyce). Drinking Guinness and Whiskey? Weird. Delicious! Nothing says “paying homage to a culture” like getting piss-ass drunk, stumbling around, and asking ladies “do you have any Irish in you? WANT SOME?!”

Last year I had the pleasure of partying during the 17th of March with a real, live Irish person. Let me tell you, that’s the way to go. If you think Houstonians had cornered the market on St. Patrick’s Day shenanigans, you’re dead wrong. The only problem for him was being around dozens of other weird dudes pretending to have Irish accents. Ever want to start a fight with an Irish man? I recommend butchering his native accent.

St. Patrick’s Day isn’t until next week, but this weekend Houston has a couple of events in honor of the shamrock’d holiday. The 51st Annual St. Patrick’s Parade will start off your afternoon starting at 12:00PM. Get your spot at the clock tower at Minute Maid park to witness the parade that is themed “Honoring the Irish Family.” Or, if you’re more inclined to eat than watch floats drive by slowly, head out to Griff’s for the 13th Annual Irish Stew, Chili, and Chicken Cook-Off. Irish Chili? That’s just weird.

— Marc


Pauline — Friday, March 12, 2010 11:13 am

Great article Marc! Very funny!

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