June 10th, 2010
The Procrastinator’s Plan 6.10.10
I remember a time when if I was trying to reach someone and they weren’t home, I just called them back. Similarly, if I was unavailable, people just had to call me back later. Then came the invention of the answering machine and it became a faux pas to not call someone back the instant you got their message. These days, with cell phones, voice mail and text messages, it’s harder and harder to just get away from things. Every so often the procrastinator just needs a break. Whether I wanted this break from society or not, I was afforded a period of exile when my dog used my blackberry as a chew toy. You can imagine how well that explanation went over at the office. Of course, I am to blackberrys what kryptonite is to Superman. Chewed by the dog? Twice. Dropped in the toilet? Check. Destroyed by a treadmill? Oh yeah. Water damage from passing out in the rain? Uh… we’re not going to talk about that. Anyway, after my phone imposed exile, I’m back in the swing of things and ready to bring you some last minute plans for the weekend. Minus soccer. Nobody cares about that fake sport. (Oops apparently Paul does.) All kidding aside, here’s hoping that we really take it to those Brits and their little goal scoring leprechaun.
THE Soccer Game Match of the Century!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, that’s ~1K exclamation points above. That’s because this game match is so important. If you don’t know what I’m talking about yet, then I feel genuinely sorry for you. Saturday is the second day of the World Cup being played on the African continent for the first time ever. It also happens to be the date that the United States squares off against England in the futbol match to end all futbol matches… Well, at least for us Americans. For the English, it’s just another walk on the pitch. Don’t let their air of superiority and dry aloofness fool you, our buddies across the pond are looking forward to Saturday as much as we are. Where are you going to be watching the game? I’ll give you the quick rundown for three potentially awesome spots to tune in.
Inside the Loop: Red Lion
It’s a Scottish pub, so they shouldn’t be too mad if a few Yankees crash the party. Plus, the food is amazing. Only a couple TVs in the entire joint, so make a point to get their early and start draining the kegs of Boddingtons before the Brits can get their hands on it. Red Lion will surely have the curtains drawn for all of you that will be pre-partying the night before. If you plan on sitting in through the 6:30AM game and on, the darkness is going to be a good thing to keep the hangover at bay before you down enough Boddingtons to defeat it.
Outside the Loop: Richmond Arms
If you’re in the Galleria area this is the perfect place to slip into. Grab a Landlord (the open-faced sandwich, not the bruiser shaking you down for rent) and take a seat. Don’t cheer too loudly when the Americans shock Wayne Rooney and crew. My favorite story from Richmond Arms involves a Brasilian man ending up face down outside the pub because he was a bit too exuberant eight years ago. The moral of the story, don’t chant your favorite teams name when they knock off the Brits in an English pub. You’ll end up with a meathook to the face and a mouth full of loose teeth.
Outside the Beltway: Enclave Sports Grill
They’re new to town, kind of (formerly Indigo Joe’s). The energy corridor is starting to attract more and more people. Being that my sister lives right down the street, I happen to know this as a fact. Enclave (1140 Eldrige Pkwy) will be your place to see all of the games if you live out in the area. If you don’t live in the area these specs may be worth the drive “59 TVs, a 192 inch screen (16 ft), a 100 inch screen, a patio for smoking, TVs at every booth, all flat screen plasmas and lcds. Wireless speakers and overhead sound. TVs in the bathrooms.” Their last 37 tweets have been about the World Cup. They’re excited.
Those are my three spots, where are yours?
[Check Cheap Eats in Houston for even more spots]
Recently, I’ve become keenly aware that all my new ideas are running out. Road blocks, pit falls, general dumbassery and china shop bulls have led to the demise of most of them. Thankfully, this weekend marks TEDxHouston. Some of Houston’s brightest innovators and thinkers are set to take the stage at the University of Houston’s Wortham Theater all day long Saturday to share with the other event goers. If you didn’t apply, I’m sorry to inform you that the application process has ended. Luckily for you, I’ll be there to bring the spoils back to you Loopsters. For those of you that don’t fall into the category of the namesake of this column, who are you excited to see speak? Out of a very healthy line-up of podium crashers, it’s hard to pick a particular one. For me, I only hope that Tuscany Premium Coffee’s caffeinated donations to the event give a swift pick-me-up that lasts from 9AM on. Surely, once talks that range from empowering women by way of bee keeping and the compositions of an octet take the stage, the caffeine buzz will be the last thing keeping me awake.
Every Rocker Gets Old
Does it get more rock and roll then suffering appendicitis, a brain hemorrhage and a hole in your heart and continuing with your scheduled tour? How about being on a reality tv show with the Donald? There’s no denying the metal cred you get by recording a song with manly sounding teenage diva? Or is there? Make your own decision by heading out to see Bret Michaels, Lynyrd Skynyrd and .38 Special at the Woodland Pavilion. While I doubt that Miley will make any sort of surprise cameo onstage, you never know. Hopefully if there is any sort of a god, he won’t play this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79wHctq7atY) without being struck by lightning. That would be SO Metal!!! Thrasher indeed. If you decide to attend the show, let us know how it is. This is one event that won’t be making it into The Week That Was.
It takes a Village (Cancelled)
While we’re on the subject of musicians taking missteps past their prime, let me remind everyone of the handful of unmentionable times they contorted their bodies to resemble the letters “Y”, “M”, “C”, and “A.” There’s no hiding, we’ve all got those skeletons in our closets. Bret Michaels appears with the Donald, Victor Willis (The Policeman) of the Village people plans to sue Fox, and I put coconut creamer in my coffee. All we can do is put those regrets to the floor and dance, preferably not in costume. As luck would have it, the Village People will be at Sam Houston Race Way on Saturday with some funky therapeutic music to help us all in our catharsis.
Down Around the Bend
If you’re brave enough to face the heat then Brazos Bend State Park is a good place to explore this weekend. With no special events planned, the park should be fairly low key and without the normal onslaught of school aged children running about. Walking the trails and seeing the wildlife, including a plethora of alligators, is a fun way to get outdoors without driving a long way.
If you would rather go east than south, then the Battleship Texas State Historic Site is another option. You can tour the ship, which saw combat in World War I and in multiple battles during World War II, including the bombardment off of Pointe du Hoc during the Normandy Invasion. While you’re out on the east side you can stop for lunch at Karanchos in Channelview to enjoy some delicious tacos.