July 29th, 2010

The Procrastinator’s Plan 7.29.10

As we approach the end of July, that can only mean one thing: Summer is coming to a close. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t mean much to me anymore. I remember when I was a kid and I’d lay awake at night, dreading the end of summer and the beginning of school. Now I just wish that I could go back to school, preferably kindergarten because I like finger painting. My favorite was when my mom would let me fingerpaint with pudding, because I would usually eat more than I’d paint.

Now, time is measured in quarters, paychecks and deadlines, and that just isn’t as much fun as school years and summer vacations. Of course, when you’re in school, all you can think and dream about is getting out. I even tried to stay in as long as I could, prolonging my college career to almost a decade of good-natured fun. But like a cartoon character who only sees the edge of a cliff at the last minute, as furiously as I tried to slam on the breaks, I still hurtled over the edge and into the adult world of responsibility.

Now, what’s done is done and it’s a world full of TPS reports, missing staplers and acting like a kid whenever I can. Funnily enough, I’m not the only one who thinks this way. A group of friends put together a sand volleyball team, I’m planning on playing on a kickball team and softball starts in a few weeks. I guess the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Who Wants a Juicy Juice?
Look, I know that baseball hasn’t been at the forefront of most people’s minds this year, but there isn’t a better way to enjoy the summer than a good ol’ trip to the ballpark. The Astros have a weekend series with the Brewers, which should help remind you why baseball was invented: to give us an excuse to drink beer and reminisce about how good we used to be. On a complete tangent, have you ever noticed how many people claim to have played minor league baseball? It’s the easiest sport to lay claim to “almost making it.” Of course, then you get them out on the field for a softball tournament and you have to stick them out in right field and they can’t hit the ball out of the infield. Right, Blake? From now on, I’m going to put minor league ball player on my resume. Let’s see someone call me on it. Back to reality, Roy O takes the mound Friday, in what might be his last start in an Astros uni. Let’s hope they have the good sense not to wear those hideous old school jerseys like the last time he pitched. He’s actually attempting to tie the franchise record for most wins on Friday, so head out to the juice box and root him on. It’s great to see a Houston hero make good, unlike another former Astros pitcher. Catch your tickets at the Astros website.

Everybody Loves that Tall Guy
Best known for his role as Ray’s quirky older brother, Brad Garrett brings his stand up to Htown this weekend with shows Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Doing most of his work on sitcom’s lately, he’s not one of the comedian’s who’s live shows have inundated youtube, so you’re bound to see new material and get a refreshing show. Let’s just hope he doesn’t do the prostate exam because that’s just not funny. Far from the lovable, goofy Robert, he’s got the look like he’s going off the rails, so there’s always the chance that he goes off Kramer style. I just wouldn’t be the one to bring any flash photography equipment from home. If you decide to press your luck, make sure you listen to him if he says “enough.” Standing 6′8″, he’s not someone who I’d necessarily mess with. You can score tickets here.

Come Not Between a Dragon and His Wrath
This weekend is the kick-off for the Houston Shakespeare Festival. For many of us, the British playwright was our introduction to drama. Yes, I’m saying that even though TNT thinks they know drama there was an original master that wasn’t spitting out average crime procedurals. For its 36th season, the Houston Shakespeare Festival will be producing A Midsummer Night’s Dream and Much Ado about Nothing at the Miller Outdoor Theater. Saturday will host the official start of the festival with Midsummer and on Sunday patrons will see Much Ado. From there on out the plays will be produced on alternating days. Now, you might think that after seeing the Classical Theatre Company’s Hamlet last year that I (or you) have met the quota for Shakespeare in a twelve-month span. Don’t rush to cross the festival off of your calendar so quickly, my friend. You can never get enough iambic pentameter in your life. So dust off your Puck costume and make way for the grassy hill overlooking the Miller Outdoor Theater.

Forks on the Left, Knives and Spoon on the Right
Everybody seems to look forward to Houston Restauarant Week(s). Now, I’m not really sure if that’s because people are really excited about donating money to the Houston Food Bank or if it’s because they believe they are finally getting to go to a high-dollar restaurant for a limited cost. Let’s just assume it’s the former and move on. Sunday is the first official day for Houston Restaurant Week(s). Why the “(s)”? Because it’s going to be three weeks long this year. Last year they added on an extra week after the fact because the philanthropy was so successful. This year they drop pretenses of it only being seven days long. Next year, let’s hope they add on the “s” that I so desperately crave. Dessert added that extra “s” and look where it ended up? Way better than a desert, that’s for sure. With 117 restaurants participating this year, there will certainly be no shortage of options. In fact The Loop Scoop will offer a cash prize for any person that manages to eat a meal at all 117 food stops. That’s right, one crisp Washington could be yours if you have the gumption.

— The Loop Scoop

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