September 27th, 2010
The Spartan Race: A Training Journal (Week 3)
To our loving mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, comrades, goldfish, harem and groupies, Spartan Race-Houston approacheth. On October 3rd, 2010, weep not for us, for we shall be ready with steely reserve to stare down and conquer the myriad of obstacles that await. We’re going to give you, our dear Loopsters, a precious glimpse into the regimen of a true warrior. Leading up to the event in Navasota, we’ll publish our Spartan Race Training Journal each Monday. You’ll agree that our methods cannot fail.
Spartan Race Training: Day 15
Today I did 300 pushups in preparation for the race. However, I did them in increments of three every hour for ten hours, so maybe that is not so impressive. And I skipped one set during lunch. And I didn’t do any during my post-lunch nap at my desk, so that’s two more sets I didn’t bang out. I am an animal.
Spartan Race Training: Day 16
Ran Memorial. Not the park, but the parkway. Drivers were in full support honking heartily and waving as each passed. Stopped a couple of times to do 200 pull ups a piece on the overpasses of Sawyer, Waugh and Shepherd. A 3 Men Movers truck gave me a helping hand on #198 on the third set. I wasn’t tiring out, but had lost my grip on the I-beam. I sure needed that extra bump up.
Spartan Race Training: Day 17
Tried to drop the habit to get my lungs back to runner’s shape. Went crazy after three hours jogging in gully of Sabine Park and rolled own cigarettes with poison ivy on accident. Calamine lotion is a poor substitute for a Griff’s bloody mary, but a man’s gotta do…
Spartan Race Training: Day 18
Slept next to Howard Hughes’ grave last night. Woke up surprisingly clean, but paranoid. When I got out to the road, saw some guy who must have found himself in a Santa Storm. Removing all the variations of Claus from his hood and grill was met with physical confrontation. I screamed, “hey, man! I don’t want your money. I was doing it for free,” and then threw the last Saint Nick at his face. I ain’t training for the Vagrant’s Race. This is Sparta!
Spartan Race Training: Day 19
After the chili cook-off, I locked myself in the garage with three dozen stray cats, armed solely with a hockey stick and my wits. The only thing left to do was the gallon challenge.
Spartan Race Training: Day 20
Ran up the down-side of the escalator and back down the up-side shrieking like a ten year old child until I was asked to leave the hospital where my girlfriend works. Next stop – Smoothie King .
Spartan Race Training: Day 21
Ankle weights good. Ankle weights and 20 lb. weighted vest even better. A five mile jog at 2 p.m. after lunch at Gatlin’s wearing nothing between the canvas and velcro and my bare skin? Perhaps a slight error in judgment. Pants would have been a prudent idea as well.